jenni321

I agree with the above post, the line breaks kind of got a bit iffy with me, and yes, you need to capitalize the start of every line! I really ...

I agree, you need to work on the mechanics of the story, like the grammar and capitization (im horrid at that too, though). I liked the theme of it, but ...

You have a really good idea (I love poems with this kind of moral), but I just don't think you did much with it. This poem should be like a ...

huh, for some reason, specific bible verses popped into my mind...weird. Anyway, I thought it was really good, I liked the rhyme scheme you've got going on, and yes, the ...

Let me just start off saying: I really did like it, I liked the off sense of rhythm you had going on. It confused me a bit in some parts, ...

Hey! Great poem, I really liked it. There were a few things I noticed though, like when you say: our lives shall come together, new memories to be had. or ...

I've seen this topic done a lot, kind of lacks originality. I agree with Chevy, u used 'I, me, my' too much. how bout u look this over again? It ...

I really liked this, the use of imagery, and the shortness. I seem to like short poems, they just seem to say more, how ironic. you definitly did so, even ...

Well, I liked it! it was total Mr. Brightside (like someone said earlier.) the beginning was kind of teetering on the edge, but it finished up quite nicely at the ...

I agree with Eimear, I think you should drop the rhyme. the rhyming seems kind of forced and limiting. You could do a lot with this without rhymes, that's why ...

ooh, that was good. like the previous posts said, there were a few grammatical traumas. I liked the metaphors, but you're almost on the borderline of too much imagery. i ...

I agree with the first two replys, there didn't seem to be much structure. I dont know if you did this on purpose, but there wasn't any real opening, with ...

It's good for your first work. It's kind of confusing in some places, and some places the syllabels are kind of off. But it's a really nice poem. And don't ...