hockeyfan87

i think you need to expand on this. Make us feel sympathetic about this story. Expand on why it will never happen. Is the girl a loser and the guys ...

I loved you, I cared for you, I died for you. You weren’t sure, you were confused, you hated yourself for missing the chance. It all started one day at ...

Let's say there's a girl. You know what I'm talking about: bright eyes, soft lips, the works - don't deny it. Everyone has that girl, the one that makes their ...

"Oui.” Abigail watched as the tall buildings passed her window. It should be a comma after oui not a period. Other than that I liked this story. But it was ...

“ I dont think you want this to be in quotation markd. Large globs of melting chocolate ice cream dripped over my hand and I tried to lick it up ...

Chapter One My alarm went off, disturbing the silence that was surrounding me. I got up slowly, stretching every muscle in my body. I got dressed without a hesitation, having ...

Ok I enjoyed it it was good

I really liked this it kept my attention the WHOLE time I read it and I enjoyed it...althought I think Jay would still be upset about Belle even though he ...

Hey, this was pretty awesome. Not saying it was perfect (and really--who am I to judge? Have you read my work? ;)) but, I enjoyed the rich wealth of imagery ...

This reminded me of the notebook and I enjoyed every moment while reading it. It was bittersweet and showed what true love is. It was sad but in a way ...

This was a GREAT poem and I enjoyed every minute that I got to read it :) thanks for sharing. I found no flaws so thats why Im not posting ...

“Frankie! (just for the record, I’m a girl not a boy) i think you should delete that because it destracts the reader I’m gunna going to go pick up your ...

I REALLY like this. It was touching and true and I felt like it was too good to be written by a 16 year old. My ONLY nitpick is that ...

The cool breeze rushed over my face and tousled my hair. The rain was coming down just hard enough to drench my hair. Everyone was standing around tears in their ...

This was a well witten piece. You said it is kind-of fiction. Well if it is I hope that... A) Chris and you are still together and B) That your ...