happybear

Ooh this has good rhythm! And great rhyme! (Especially for its length! good job) Your poem was deep and that was great! There were some parts that didn’t flow and ...

woa! this is astounding! it's powerful and really gets the message across! good job on that! Im not really the type of person for these kinds of poems... nervertheless I ...

hmmmm.... what to say. . . I’m not going to go into religion (I say this with great difficulty) and it was very short so there isn’t really a lot ...

Whoa! This is powerful! I don’t know, maybe its just me! But I thought the message for one was grand, and the writing was superb! Yet, it annoyed me that ...

I cant believe you were actualy able to write about this! If you just know alot about it and able to put all that in writing it's spectacular! but if ...

i fear I'm simply restated what Leja said, but the details you've added have taken the poeticness (I know that is not a word) from it. I know it's VERY ...

The male and female really threw me off... but I know that was simply to avoid spoiling so I'll try to look over it =) 1. The choppy, short sentence ...

Ballroomdancer95 (I like the name by the way) Awesome work! The smiles to me are a bit disconcerting but that's just me, don't change it unless everyone else things so. ...

I'm not really the one to review this because this story isn't really 'my type' But I will say despite my tendency to stray from this sort of thing you ...

hmmm... your writing style can be 'bouncy' at times but you get your point across. This story really caught my attention you did good on that part! But you went ...

personaly, and I hate to say this but your charecters always slip through my grasps. This being the beganing of your story you want to try to build charecters and ...

Congrats my dear friend!! You've done much better then me!!! I will say though that you did introduce Janet as Jane that confused me, you should fix it. You had ...

Great stuff! You really drug me into it I felt like I was right there watching it happen! Though I do believe it was neccicary you did have what I ...