gymnast_789

Fifty dragons he had slayed, yet not one mark of battle showed on his youthly face. I'm not quite sure that 'youthly' is a word. Maybe use the word 'youthful'. ...

Simon had just moved here a week ago and had yet tp have proper time to explore the complex articual desighn of which he lived in. tp=to articual-this is not ...

Well I agree with what everyone has said above me ^_^. I thought that the beginning started out a little choppy and hard to understand. But by fixing what the ...

...over the green hills that stretched out from the forest’s feet until they met the sea in the blurry distance. I really like this description! He was hooded and cloaked... ...

Not bad. Some good things that I found about this piece was that you have some good descriptions in here in describing the red bird. But like Snoink said you ...

I just read your first draft and I have to agree with Shasta, removing the rhyming made the poem should a lot smoother while I read through it. Also you ...

I thought that this was really good. I couldn't find any spelling or punctuation errors. There were a few oddly worded sentences here and there though. There weren't that many ...

I really liked these lines: Stopping before me, we meet eyes, but do not embrace, you speak with cruel words that distort your angelic face. I thought that this was ...

Interesting...I really enjoy it. There are some really powerful phrases in here, and some of them I agree with or could relate to. I like the way you keep saying ...

I really like it! Like others said it really does make you think. A lot of the things you said are true. Most people today who are really upset even ...

Yay! I'm so glad you posted! I couldn't wait to read it! Okay here we go... "Cross, hubris, fould old goat." Is fould supposed to be foul? I not really ...

Here are some suggestions: Hearing the voice behind my closed eyelids, it is all I am aware of, as I lie in a limbo world between sleeping and awakening. I ...

Here's a few suggestions: The drumbeats pounded a strange, otherworldly rhythm as the playrs swooped in and faced eachother squarely. playrs = players eachother = each other The old man ...

The walls were grey, the ceiling was grey, the floor was grey. Gray is spelled like this "gray". Also When you keep saying "gray" it sounds a little repetitive. Try ...

Don't know anything but happiness and being spoilt. We're being protected from the real world, I don't agree with this. Not every child experiences complete happiness or being spoilt. Like ...