Young Writers Society

This is rough at the moment, but I am continuing my..."tradition" in not editing anything until I've actually finished a draft, in order to make sure I don't end up getting frustrated with it and stop bothering to write it. It's the prologue to Archer's Legend, my newest project.

Notes: I should note, first of all, that I'm horrible at romance, and know very little about how wedding ceremonies should be held, other than what I've seen at weddings I've been to and seen on tv. I also know that the chapel is lacking description, but I really wasn't sure how to describe it, so it's something to be elaborated on at another point.

In terms of feedback, just general stuff at the moment. It's only a prologue so I'm not too worried about characterization (especially since the story itself isn't even mainly about the characters in the prologue). Not looking for any spelling/grammar type things to be pointed out.

Archer’s Legend

Prologue- Journey in to the Night

30 Years Earlier

A chapel in Caeviel

The small chapel was illuminated in light only by that coming from candles in various places around the room. The flame flickered, its reflection dancing in the glass ceiling above.

Standing at the alter were four figures, three men and one female. One man named Damalis, who was no older than sixty years, stood in front of one of the men and the woman, holding a black book opened in his hands.

The woman, no older than nineteen, clasped the hands of the man standing across from her tightly, her deep green eyes watching him lovingly.

“Do you Savarna take Adonis to be your husband? To cherish and love, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Damalis asked.

Savarna nodded, making eye contact with the man standing across from her. “I do,” she said softly.

“And do you Adonis Pantelas take Savarna to be your wife? To cherish and love, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Adonis gave a slow nod, pulling Savarna’s left hand up toward his lips and kissing the back of her hand, then slowly lowered it. He played with the ring that was on her hand’s ring finger. “I do,” he replied.

“Then if no other here finds any reason for these two not to marry,” Damalis began, looking to Jaeven, who stood near Adonis’s side as his best man. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Adonis reached slowly toward Savarna’s face, which was beneath a white veil, pushing the veil back over her head. He cupped her cheek in his palm, bringing her head closer to him as he leaned down to kiss her.

The kiss was broken after a moment; Adonis leaned his head down and put it against Savarna’s forehead.

“We did it,” he whispered. “They can’t keep us apart now.”

Savarna opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted when a loud crash was heard. The two looked up to see a broken window; Adonis could see a figure holding a lantern outside of the chapel.

“Looks like you spoke too soon,” Jaeven said. “You two had better get out of here before they catch you.”

Adonis started to lead his new wife toward the back of the chapel. Savarna turned her head to look at Jaeven and Damalis. “Thank you,” she said. With that, the two ran in to a hall, where at the end of it they found the back door.

It was night outside in Caeviel; the small ceremony that had united the two in marriage had begun at sundown, only minutes ago. A strong, sturdy stallion stood waiting, its reins tied to a fence. The two quickly rushed toward the horse, knowing that they had to escape quickly.

Savarna looked over her shoulder, green eyes darting frantically as she waited for her new husband to ready the horse. She let go of Adonis’s hand as she stood staring at something silently.

Adonis untied the reins and checked to make sure the saddle was on tight before turning to Savarna.

“Savarna, come on,” Adonis said. He followed her gaze, only to see a figure holding a torch stepping slowly toward them.

“Hello, Adonis,” the figure said when it stopped. The head turned, looking to Savarna. “Sister.”

Savarna thought her heart was going to jump in her throat. Was this it? Was her brother going to turn them in to their parents? No; she knew her brother. He wouldn’t betray her trust . . . would he?

“Calen,” Savarna said carefully. “What are you doing here?”

“I followed you here,” Calen replied, eyeing his sister. “You’re married, aren’t you?”

Savarna opened her mouth to reply but closed it, lowering her head. “I love him, Calen. Please understand that. And . . . please do not tell Mother and Father.”

Calen walked slowly toward his sister, stopping in front of her. He looked down at her, watching her for a moment. Savarna was surprised when she felt his hand lifting her chin up so she would look at him.

“I will not tell them, Savarna,” Calen said. “I wish you luck, and can only hope that they will not find out before you get out of Caeviel.” He looked up at Adonis, who lifted his head a bit as he watched his new brother-in-law carefully. “Take care of her.”

Adonis nodded, moving to take Savarna’s hand and bring her toward the horse. “I will. Thank you, Calen.”

Calen stepped away, watching as Adonis helped his sister on to the horse before climbing on himself. Within a moment, the two were galloping away to start their new lives away from the places they’d called home and their families.