greenjay

Ah...unnecessary is all that I can say. How does it help the plot anyway? I mean, I have romance in my novel, but this isn't even romantic, it's just...too much. ...

Hmm...Two thumbs up. :smt023 :smt023 Very good! -gryngeay

Sweetness...that's about all I can say. It is very good and I found no typos or grammer mistakes and nothing came to my mind to correct so there. Tumbs up! ...

Cool! I like this section. Didn't find anything to comment on. Good job! -GJ

Let's see, more detail...hmm. Like I said before, I really liked how Khor whooped the teacher in front of everyone when they were scared of the teacher. Everyone was all ...

Aww! How sweet. Anywho good job...and don't worry, you don't HAVE to start with action. This is still interesting enough as is. -The Jay of Green

I don't really get this all, but maybe that's just me, and maybe you'll explain more later. Anyway, it was very good and once again I didn't find anything wrong ...

I want to critique this but I just have one quick question. Where's chapter 2? -Ahh, Me

Cool. I didn't find anything to this is a pointless post :P. I was a little confused :? , but I'm not really supposed to know what's going on so ...

Okay, what's with the two random weirdos? I didn't expect them...anyway I'm sure you have your reasons and blah, blah, blah, so I'll stop ranting. Besides that random part it ...

I'm pretty sure it's chapter 13. Anyway, it's REALLY good. I like it, and I like how you show more of Dominic's character. Sweet. -Greenie

Coolness, the plot thickens! (Just like soup! Oh, sorry, I'm hungry :P) -something with green and jay in it

Tis good! -greenjay

Sweet! Goodjob, I like this chapter. -Greenie

Cool! This is a sweet part. Goodjob! -the green one