greenjay

Waa? That's long. Well, I'll try not to fall asleep :P, here I go... The man wearing red stepped out of the one who was carrying Khor. I don't get ...

Okay, now I critique :D. The holds are gathering in three day’s time," Ianna said eventually, striking for her room, a small cave just off the foremost mouth— so that ...

Ianna J’engar-ai was the last of her kind; one of the few royal families left , hers (I'd say start a new sentance here) had been a particularly potent line, ...

Ahh...yup...they about covered it all. It's an info dump, but if you could make it less info-dumpish you might pull it off. Don't ask me what that means, just follow ...

He tiredly stood and stretched out his arms, causing his wings to stretch out even further. "He stood tiredly" would be better. Hehe. Derez turned the rock into a sword:D. ...

:twisted: *rubs hands together gleefully* :twisted: I've been looking forward to this! Did you change it some? It seems a bit different, maybe shorter. Anyway here I go. Let's see ...

Sweet! I finally found it :D. Here I go. Crystal was now running uphill, with the ranger's station perched on top [s]atop the hill[/s]. She could feel her legs growing ...

After walking most of the day, they [s]walked[/s] came under the darkness of the sky, the moon not in view but the stars lighting [s]his[/s] their way instead. The two ...

Just one quick thing...IF YOU QUIT MERCENARY WINGS I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, EVER EVER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem...okay, well isn't that nice? Anyway, I liked this, although most romances are BLAH to ...

Yay! Another section :D! Uh… Someone that can help us.” Knall still had [s]man[/s] more questions but was glad that Derez had answered at least some of his. 'There are ...

New chapter, yay! On to reading :D. comment is...good job! I didn't find anything wrong except for the typos that kitty mentioned. Keep it up. -GJ

Brad landed smoothly on the top of the steps, the tips of his wings brushing the walls on either side of the stairs as he braked and his feet touched ...

Sweet! The escape....Does Vathan know everyone? Who could he be? Hmmmmmm? Anyway, I didn't find anything wrong, except what sokool already said, so I don't have much to say :D. ...

The coolest part ever?! Oo, oo, I'm excited. I'll read it now :D. It opened and they stepp[s]ing[/s] ed inside. Derez quickly found the wheel and rested his hand on ...

Looking out on the sunlit grass and the blue river, circling around the tower and out of sight. this isn't a complete sentance (don't you hate grammar) It was luckily ...