greenjay

Hi Alfonso, First, I want to say that I really liked the idea of this story. Achilles's meeting with the gods and experience and survival of the river lend a ...

First, good job on this theme. I love fantasy and fairytales, but they can be addictive to the point of self-destruction, as you showed in this story. Furthermore, I like ...

Hey Lethero! I guess you like your character a lot, naming your account after him. I know what it is like...Characters can become very personal when you write about them ...

I cannot say much concerning the manner of the plot as this is very short and as I have not read the first chapter, so I will keep my comments ...

Good job. I second what Sasha said about the beginning and have little to add. I suggest looking over the ending again and trying to make that a bit longer ...

I must say that this is a relief after all the junk that I am used to finding in the fantasy section. There are plenty of good ideas out there, ...

First off, good job. I like this piece and the inner depths that it probes. I think you could deepen some of the meanings, such as what the beasts repressent ...

Though I am not very good at either writing or critiquing poetry, I can tell that this is good. The imagery is vivid, and the flow and ryhme is well ...

Well, it seems like Ofir and Worx did a pretty good job at some of the specifics so far, so I'll try to give you some more general tips, if ...

Silence and darkness ate away at Khor’s flesh and mind. He had followed the sound of the stream and it had led him to the place that had nearly killed ...

Khor is back! :) I always did like his character. Is this like a prequal to Pure Magic? Something drew him to the chasm. [s]and[/s] I t enthralled him. [s]This ...

Polt! Your alive! :P What's been up? Sadly I missed the ending of Pure Magic, but I'll just read it when you get it published :wink:. Anyway, I really liked ...

Hey. There's not much for me to say that hasn't already been said. Much is still uncertain as to how this will turn out, but I cannot judge off so ...

Hey. First I want to say that it was good, though a little too short. How could I let him die? How could I be so selfish as to steal ...

As these thoughts were sprinting through his mind the captain nodded to one of his soldiers who quickly approached the Vancan and used the butt of his rife to knock ...