foxfire

I get what you are doing…you are trying to use an ending as a beginning, write about the past and end up the story with connection with the beginning…clever…However It ...

Comment: Good…Suspense driven story…I like it. The events in this story were connected to each other and flowed easily from one to another and the twist at the end was ...

Okay firstly…the last part of the story was a good way to let the reader stir some interest. Introduction: Not to be harsh but the words, “Here I am, back ...

Firstly, what are you trying to tell in this story?? Are you trying to tell of a story about two sisters who moved to a hotel? As well…what age are ...

Being Nothing, Observed So, it’s my first day at this office, my khaki pants and white button up are clean and starched, and everything around me is clean and starched. ...

What I like about this story is that you created tone. Very good, you’ve made the reader feel the story…you perfectly convey the story through the use of diction such ...

Okay…I don’t want to be harsh but here I go. Firstly, what are you trying to convey in this story? If you are conveying that Autumn is dead then you ...

Okay basically…to be honest…this story you are simply telling us various facts. In a nutshell, there was no tone, no characterization and you kept telling the readers various stuff not ...

Okay you got three characters: Tammy, Lily and Lily’s ex. One thing I like about this piece is on their personality and how their personality varies from each other. For ...

Firstly, I like how you describe the main protangonist through the use of the clothing style and the dialogue in which it revealed a type of person she is. But…for ...

Characterization I like how you describe the girl and her relationship with her parent. But again, there were some parts of the story that seemed unclear. For example, the street ...

Firstly, I have not much to say except for the tense. Again, you are mixing the past tense with the present tense. Try to use on tense though it will ...

PLOT Firstly, I like the plot of your story on how a good kid turned evil reminds me of Elfen Leid but anyway, the plot is good as an introduction ...

Ahhh…I like it. I like the introduction of the story you are making. Firstly, I want to say that you used well the opening paragraph to set out a mood ...

Firstly if this introduction, I like it. I like how you amaze the reader on a present moment of her being in a state of dilemma and in the end ...