flamingswordofdoom

i would love to read a full blown trilogy of this if possible 20/10

Yeah I like that phrasing, is it ok to use? I'm feeling the same way about the first one......it's a very important picture to me for some reason so I ...

In all honesty I would love to continue this into something longer and clear up some of those questions. i'll look at the specificity of the location too, thank you ...

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I actually started with the intention to write it from the perspective of a ghost then found myself doing........not that. lol

Thank you for the review! The first sentence you narrowed in on I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with. The second I missed a comma ...

At first read-through, I really enjoy the picture this paints. I wish there was a way to see the melody written out but I understand that's not an option.

ok so im a little confused about her memory. it seems like she knows what shes missing but doesnt know how to get back to it or even where she ...

good criticism thank you :) the laughter is my least favorite line...i tried alot of different things to make it sound better in my head but i havnt found what ...

thanks! i would also love this to be longer eventually...i will work on where to put punctuation

i couldnt find a way i liked to describe his laugh :( im open to suggestions. but when he laughs its his whole body lol