fireheartedkaratepup

You asked for a critique, so I'm gonna fire both barrels. (I'm not sure that last part makes sense.) You sit here wondering why..... what, exactly? It sounds like those ...

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh?????????????????? Why did this post twice? And how do I fix it?

Oh my goodness. This is beautiful. At first I thought you were talking about yourself--I had to re-read the poem after realizing on the last line. It's a commentary on ...

ohmahfruitcake. So good. I love how you show the good and the bad--too many people, when romanticizing a person, gloss over their flaws. I really just love this.

This is beautifully tragic. They rhyme scheme threw me off, though--why did you decide to rhyme in the beginning of each stanza, and not the end? And why is the ...

Goin' for the e. e. cummings style, huh? Very nice. There's something about it that needs work.... it's rambly? I can't quite put my finger on it at the moment. ...

*Tries not to seem like I'm stalking your profile* We don't stalk, we follow! ^_^ (Muahahahaha)

HAHAHA, what is it about really mean stuff that makes people laugh? At some point it goes from "Aww, that's so mean. :'(" To "HAHAHAHAHAHA it was so mean I ...

dregymayfield: Not necessarily. Not everyone puts all that much value in a kiss, and emotions can be very complex. You can enjoy another's kiss without actually being in love with ...

Yay, you got it! ^_^ Thanks for the input. And yeah, I was writing it how it I think it should sound--not cure Because would fit rhythmically. And yeah, that ...

Thanks guys! I'll try to fix on the redundant "long" usage--I can't think of anything else that would fit, but I'm working on it.

Thanks for the reviews, guys! It's so nice to get feedback. ^_^

Oh yeah, forgot to say--I don't like the lines. They're not necessary--any pauses/etc in the song should be added vocally (except for the mandatory different lines/stanzas, of course.) I think ...