fire_of_dawn

Hi; Fiery here with a bit of a review. His eyes were wide open, too wide open. The irises around his pupils were all but visible. His arm seemed to ...

Bravo, Timmy! *applauds while laughing* I like how you begin your entry on a serious note, only to have it turn humorous as soon as Bruce opens his mouth. Your ...

Whoa. There aren't too many errors in this piece, so let's get to 'em first. Only this was different then every other time. It should be different "than" every other ...

Okay, it looks like this piece could use my "special touch". You've got quite a few run-on sentences in there- which I'll explain shortly. I took a deep breath and ...

Well met, Bol. I'm here to give you a review. As per usual, I shall start with some error-detection. :) flexing my wings as I slinked close to the ground ...

Hi there, Pencil. While I don't have much to point out, there are these few things. But hope is like a candle too, Gentle and subdued. Very nice rhyme! Hope ...

This was well written, Create. There was one thing I noticed, though: the announcer frantically attempted to make sense of the chaos occurring. You've broken with the progressive tense (attempted) ...

Very good piece; there were only a couple of mistakes as far as grammar goes. after the releasing of my AS level results Now, this isn't a grammatical error. I'd ...

Since everything else seems to be covered, I'll say this. It seems odd to use words like "moderate" in the narration, yet have her call Iarran "a guy". Second thing ...

Sol, this is marvelous. There are only a few errors. destruction?, Generally a comma and an end-mark is unnecessary. "But not helpless, neither alone," I think it's "nor alone" in ...

As they said, that was amazing. Sometimes I find myself wanting this or that. Well, if we're to be truly happy the perhaps yours is the best way. Naturally, we ...

Right away I can see you have a lot of run-on sentences. Those are when you string together several sentences. I was running from the most powerful and deadly army ...

Not a bad beginning, M. You better pass this year, I thought cursing my attitude of carelessness last year. You know about using italics, right? Also, a comma after "thought" ...

Hey, good start. I'm just going to point out a few errors here. I think, first of all, the second paragraph could use some work. Telling us all this information ...

I'm not great a review, but I can show you some errors. It was an average day really. Average, except for what was to happen that night. Here, it's okay ...