faith

I think this one maintained a certain elegance throughout, and the second person wasn't quite such a slap in the face as it often is. But it still has those ...

Adolescent males drive me insane. The first stanza was interesting. Your poems would benefit so much from never invoking the second person. And staying universal instead of crashing down to ...

The poem was missing a few things for me, such as several italicizedstreamsof consciousnessmadeextraspecialbytheirlackoflinebreaks , preferably invoking a metaphor of a bird with broken wings/a café

Oh my goodness...it's Robby! I don't frequent this site too often myself anymore, but how could I forget the acerbic Senor Sauerkraut from TYWC? About the poem...I'm not sure if ...

Your poetry always has these great images that never really seem connected. You don't have to stick to one 'leitmotif' or whatever for the entire poem, but if you use ...

An exceptionally crude attempt at emotional manipulation. If you're going to to write about something as emotionally charged as a father killing his child, which you probably shouldn't because almost ...

no criticism until the final stanza- 'because everyone knows' seems out of place, disrupts the flow...for some reason it sounds like more than 10 syllables, even though it's not...perhaps because ...

The beginning completely intrigued me, because starting in the middle of a sentence is hot...and the phrasing of that first stanza was spot-on. Sparse and effective. Second stanza started out ...

Pretty and sophisticated. I particularly liked the beginning and: But we are acquiescent, passive to raining hellfire and dead synapses. probably because I'm a neuropsychology freak and I like the ...

The way that it half-rhymed threw me off a little. Also I think you needed to introduce the snowglobe earlier since it's the central image in your poem. The first ...

Your dialogue could use some tightening up, but this: “I wouldn’t stand so close to me,” Donny said. “God’s got too many things against me for it to be safe.” ...

if I put you in a formaldehyde solution would you gum up like a butterfly and shatter a lovely metaphor...being more or less mine, originally. *grin* the rest wasn't too ...

Simple, direct, and says exactly what you want it to say. (at lease I assume so). Except for the first line which confused me because it's like midnight and I ...

something about this just sort of chilled me. not neccesarily the poem itself..its just, i get the context, I think. 'If I drive, I wonder how far I can go ...

never let the red cross fall from your bloody hand. ( nice image ) on that windy ridge the grass grows long the horses ride hard (yay! horses!) the bullets ...