erilea

Hey, pkidchick! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin. 1) "Stumbling to her feet she fearfully took the lead home," Here, I don't get what you mean by "took ...

Heya, EternalRain! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin. 1) "She dances in the stars and her hair tangles in the glowing dips on them." This is a bit ...

Hello, BlackhawkUnder! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "“She’s probably dead,” her older brother spat." There's a lot of animosity in this sentence that seems to be ...

Hey, felistia! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's start. 1) "What will he think of me know?" Ah... don't you mean "now?" 2) I thought Howler Dragons were dangerous. ...

Hello, ZeldaIsShiek! Lupa here for a shiny review! :D Let's start. 1) Your first line, despite the wording, doesn't flow very well. I understand that this is a formal-diction poem, ...

Hello, Steggy! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "He continued his route, humming and then glanced at the clock, making perfect time." I think you need a ...

Hey, BlueAfrica! Lupa here for a review. :D Let's jump right in... 1) "He glanced at Philostratus’ seat, several rows closer to the floor, and went unrewarded." Here, I had ...

Hey, NympheaLily! Lupa here for a shiny new review! :D Let's start... 1) "“Because, my dear, they had more luck than we.” I tilted my head. “What do you mean ...

Hello, felistia! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's jump in... 1) Ah, so Zoltar's emotions finally kick in. Honestly, I feel like it would make more sense for these ...

Hey, Mea! Lupa here for a review! :) Let's start... 1) "I know I only noticed it in October once I wasn’t quite as wide-eyed and busy-tailed, as Mom says." ...

Heya, felistia! Lupa here for a review on Quest for Fire! :D Let's begin... 1) "Black clouds of chest burning ash spewed from the volcano's gaping mouth." This sentence here ...

Hey, passenger! Lupa here for a review. :D Let's begin... This entire chapter was extremely strange. The whole idea of killing Devin confused me, actually. Lane is supposed to be ...

Hey Carlito! Lupa here for a review. :D Let's start... 1) Your tenses switch quite a lot, sometimes in the middle of a stanza. For example: "When poison tried to ...

Hey, Jpwriters! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's jump in... 1) "In the beginning they had no true permeant form, they were constantly changing, big then small, round then ...

Hey, pkidchick! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) While the idea of the story was quite interesting, I would like more than just an exasperated letter to ...