empressoftheuniverse

I love this little poem. Speak of love and of forever, vow that you will never leave her! I would change this to Speak of love that lasts forever , ...

But you no longer think of the way the rose was in my hair, This line is the reason that I think this poem has potential. It is really fantastic. ...

I too am having a problem with the tenses going on in this phrase I’ve seen the rise of the pyramids built, and every flower wilt. I’ve saw David capture ...

I like the story, and even how you told it: the final moments before his death, and then rewind to the beginning of his life to show how he got ...

Okay, here we go. Hello. I love the imagery in this poem and I love the spoiler. I don't need to tell you that your descriptions are breathtaking because you ...

One nitpick: I would omit the ellipses at the end of the last line in exchange for a period. I get that you want to contrast it with the first ...

Hello, I took the liberty of reading the original work and this repost side-by-side. I love what you changed about the poem; this has a nice rhyme to it now. ...

Hello there, I think this is one of the best unpublished rhyming poems I've read. I really love the use of parentheses both took it easy, peaches, quiet is a ...

I love the idea of this poem, that a person only has so much love and when they give it to the man in their life they have nothing left ...

Hello, I think the youtube link was more than neat; it was necessary. This poem needs to be spoken out loud; on paper it just isn't as relevant. This is ...

Hello, just so you know this is one of the first stories I've read (technically it's the third) but it takes a lot of willpower for me to read something ...

This is a cute little poem that serves its purpose: to express your feelings about Harry Potter in a flurry of rhyming couplets. I think the problem I have with ...

At first, I thought I didn't understand this poem but when I reread it, I saw that the metaphor was really ingenious. I don't really have any critiques; but I ...

I do actually feel like this is a little too personal. I can't imagine what it felt like to write, but it was very difficult to read something that was ...

A few nitpicks first: My father was killed in a car wreak three years, and we still haven't moved on. I think you mean My father was killed in a ...