emotion_less

there is a lot in this poem. a lot that you are expressing. to be honest, i got a little bored by the middle of it because of its length ...

well, the ending... i don't know exactly why you put that there. it's not supposed to be part of the story, is it? anyway, from what it seems, this isn't ...

i like it mesh! i don't know what you're talking about. i'm sure crysi would be proud to publish it. =) on the blue-green afternoon gold of a summer night ...

hey jig! nice story so far. i'm horrible at critiquing... but the only part i want to know a bit more about is this Deep Scout. its physical appearance, mostly. ...

aww... this was sad. i like the tone you wrote this with. it brought out the emotions of the poem. i liked the poem overall. sometimes, the rhythm seemed a ...

you had a lot of different and original imagery, which is really good. a lot of people stick to ones that have been circulated a little too many times. now, ...

emo-ness is fun. =) well, anyway, the poem had a lot of interesting questions in it. however, it seemed like you focused more on the way the questions sounded than ...

i'm sorry that you feel this way, but i think your approach to this poem could have been more subtle. instead of revealing why you are sad about christmas, convey ...

the poem that you have here seems much more like a list. you tell the reader what children of philosophy are, but you say it over and over again in ...

i really liked the metaphors you had in this. the connections of poetry and the real world made a lot of sense after thinking about it. i liked the surreal ...

hello there. all right. even if you're trying to rhyme, like Snoink said, you shouldn't let the flow of it be disturbed. the way you made the poem rhyme forced ...

hey there! haha i liked the last entry of your intro. i don't know why, but it made me smile... heh... your story seemed kinda clunky in transition. things went ...

i felt the emotion, but it kind of seemed like you were rambling or venting. try to not pull in all different topics (all different reasons you are mad?) at ...

having confusing phrases doesn't really make it deep. the last chunk of it especially was kind of hard to grasp. try not to base a whole poem around one line. ...

it's not exactly something i would call in-depth and personal... seems much more like one of those poems you see on a poster. the first thing i have to say ...