emmily

Hi meg, I like your concept so far. This prologue gives a lot of information in a very short length of time which may not be the best thing for ...

Chapter Seven I wiped a tear away from my eye as I ate a bowl of warm soup for supper the next day. The soup tasted thin and old, and ...

The action in this chapter was nice. It was good to see Alwin getting involved with the group even if she didn't do quite what she was supposed to. I ...

Chapter Five My heart pounded as I stood exactly twelve feet away from the target in front of me. “Am I right on target?” I asked Robin, “or should I ...

Chapter Four I felt heat rushing through my body as the sound of voices came into my ears. Whispers rang through the forest and the clanking of dishes suddenly ceased ...

Chapter Three I wiped away my tears that I had been holding in for an hour now. My mother was buying a few spare eggs from our neighbors, Elouise and ...

"When the birds first sang the waking call through the village" I think this is my favourite line so far. I like Ivy's attitude in refusing to go along with ...

I like the concept of this story. Generally, most Robin Hood stories focus on him and his group. I've never read one where the main character isn't a part of ...

Chapter five Gary was awaken by loud chatter downstairs. His scruffy hair fell into his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His body was ...

*Warning: It is rated pg-13 because once again the charcater Gary has a dream about Isabella* Chapter four When Gary got out of the shower he put on grey sweat ...

Chapter three Just as Jay was about to settle down with a nice, cold beer he heard the old brass knocker thump the door. When he opened the door, Gary ...

Not that I'm an expert or anything, but according to what I've read, people don't wake up this suddenly from a coma. There are usually signs of that they are ...

Let Me Love You Chapter One All had been quiet in Isabella’s life, maybe that was because she was in a coma. (These two sections don't quite make one sentence ...

After so many months, the evening walk was an everyday routine, an invariably wander in the streets of the neighborhood and nearby parks. The custom traces itineraries. Thus, although one ...

Prelude Blailey let out a yawn and prodded at the fire (prodded sounds a little odd her--maybe poked would work better and you could take out the last three words ...