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Re: Salmon Merlot (EDITED)
I feel your poem has already taken a beating so I won’t say too much. I think you need to use the comments you already have as you seem to ...
Oct 27, 2010 -
Re: The Bourreau and the Waltz Dancer - Ch. 1 OLD
Here’s a dreamy review as requested. I hope it helps. Humongous first paragraph! An opening paragraph is supposed to grab your reader’s attention to hook them in, but also to ...
Oct 27, 2010 -
Re: ...
The thing is, usually teen poetry is one dimensional and centred on feeling we like to think are unique but are not, and anything better than that (which is where ...
Oct 23, 2010 -
Re:
This story took my interest so I’ve decided to review it. Rain fell from the darkened sky as piercing drops. – The weather isn’t worth this. Rain usually falls from ...
Oct 18, 2010 -
Re: The Midnight Marauders (finale)
I noticed it was part one of three, and usually people will review the first part, maybe less for the second and hardly any for the last, so I thought ...
Oct 16, 2010 -
Re: Red Skies (short story) first 1000 words
Great name, but needs a lot of work. I'm here to help if I can. =] Low vibrations – How are they low? You spend a lot of word describing ...
Oct 15, 2010 -
Re: Kiss Of Death: Prologue
You are never more alive than the moment before you die. – Nice line. It would be good if you put this in an isolated paragraph of its own to ...
Oct 15, 2010 -
Re: The Howling of Silverveil (1)
This is very well written. I’m here to give you an in-depth review but I’m not sure I’ll be able to find too much to help you on. I’ll warn ...
Oct 15, 2010 -
Re: Always and Forever
Hey, I've been searching for something to review and feel this could really improve from a few tweaks. I have to say though, this is my favourite story I have ...
Oct 14, 2010 -
Re: The Monster Within
I really do think this is brilliant, which is why I’ve spent time going through and giving you an in-depth review to make it even better. A great twist at ...
Oct 14, 2010 -
Re: Empty Sky
Hey, I stumbled across this and am glad I did. It’s pretty good, but here are my thoughts for improvement. Let me know if you want me to re-explain anything ...
Oct 13, 2010 -
Re: Third Avenue
Hmm... This does seem a little slow, and I think it’s because there’s a fair bit of repetition, both in the information you give your readers and your choice of ...
Oct 12, 2010
