dragonfphoenix

All right, I'm back for a review of the update. This sentence struck me as an awkward read. "His brow twisted and a bottom which was blue in colour and ...

Knight Dragon here, with the first of your three reviews, to uphold the honor of the Knights. I liked how in the first section you had chap stick and then ...

I felt this was a very short short. You have good imagery, but you leave almost as much to be explained. How old is Ruthie, especially compared to her father? ...

I like how you explored all the various areas of the pain, and how at the end you said all of it was worth it if he was happy. Formatting, ...

I believe you want poetry for your categorization. This doesn't fit as prose as it is now. Unless you're going to come back later and answer all of these questions ...

That first stanza is really awkward. It just doesn't come out right at all. It doesn't have any flow, ya know? Third line of second stanza doesn't have a good ...

Ooooh....wow, need to breath. Okay, that was huge. I'm tackling this for the Head of a Wild Boar badge that's how long this is. So my first advice would be ...

Hahahaha!!! I loved this poem! Not a fan of the punctuation, but I could totally relate to the whole 'stalking' episode [my friend and I ended having an entire conversation ...

Hmm...well, that was interesting. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was "Who I really wanted with me was my twin brother, Calvin, but he was busy with studying ...

*rubs forehead* Wow, this needs a lot of work. Okay, I don't want you to take this review the wrong way, so let me start by saying that it's not ...

I liked the dichotomies and paradoxes you had in this poem. "Thou art frigidly warm", "Thou art static on a gray slate- Always moving, always moving.", and a few others. ...

All right, here we go. You switched the verb tense in both the opening paragraph and later segments. Are you using past or present tense? Please, pick one and stick ...

This seems more like the cycle of heartache in love than 'life'. "Life" just feels like too broad a term for this poem. You have your topic really focused, but ...

Okay, you need to do some work here. The biggest thing I noted was that you don't have a single verb tense. You rotate back and forth between present and ...

Yes, this is definitely a collection of "bad" pick up lines. Some, like #2 and #15, might earn a good B*slap, while others would draw a cute smile (1 & ...