Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
She never quite got it, never quite felt what it was about the droning voice that made Walter tip his graying head over the top of the leather easy-chair and take deep, shaky gulps of the musty air. He always seemed to like having her there, would set her on his knees and trace her shoulder blades the way she liked, the way that made her fall asleep if he did it long enough. It was always nice in the basement, cool and dark but still cozy. The record, scratched lovingly by the old diamond needle, turned round and round, and Ruthie always watched to see if she could read the words as they went speeding by. She thought she could, but maybe it was just because she’d read it so many times when it was still, when it sat patiently on the machine and waited for her father’s hands to bring it to life. Leonard Cohen’s Bird on a Wire. Sometimes Walter would put on Elvis, or sometimes classical music. Then he’d dance, he’d swing her around and he’d laugh, and Ruthie would be happy, so happy. And then sometimes they would just sit, just sit there and listen, her to him and him to the song, and she would wish he’d talk. In his big arms, she leaned back against him, turned her cheek to his chest and pressed her ear tight to his heart. Heard the steady thump, heard it slow as he breathed, in, out, in, out. And listened closely with the other ear, wishing she could hear what her father heard in that croaky voice, wishing she could feel what he felt and know why.
Okayyy...this is an interesting piece. For a change something marked as a short story is very clearly intended to stand on its own and does in fact manage to stand on its really well here. You definitely get a decent sense of everything going on here and then get a decent enough ending there for us readers. Its certainly the sort of piece that gets your attention.
Diving a bit deeper in here, we get a sense of some sort of nostalgia tinged ever so slightly with something that appears to be loss here. It seems as if you're trying to capture almost something like a person whose just gone through some sort of loss or tragedy in life, or maybe even just been separated from this person they love for reason and said person is just reflecting on this one grounding moment and trying to wish for something of a simpler time. There is also towards the very end there almost a sense of regret at not having gone through with something.
Overall, for such a short piece, there's a surprising amount of stuff to try and unpack here. I think you've done a very solid job in terms of this piece here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 260951
Reviews: 4130
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