dragonfphoenix

This was actually pretty good for age ten. [I'd be ashamed to post some of my writing from that time period of my life *covers head with the paper bag ...

Knight Dragon here to continue reviewing. All right, here we go. This sentence (comma splice aside) reads really roughly. "It was a day to celebrate sporting and the outdoors, teams ...

You needed more punctuation in this section. Example: "King Leonis demanded as a woman dressed in threadbare clothes decorated in an assortment of unmentionable stains stood in the middle of ...

Knight Dragon here to review. Technical aspects: "Though morning it was but now everything turned black." This could be better written "Although it was morning, everything had turned black." It ...

I felt like the two analogies were totally incongruous. There's whispering, and then there's light. There's this sort of wispiness to it (returning to you is like realizing) and then ...

I liked the poem up until the last three lines. I felt like you hadn't transitioned well, and upon further review I found your transition, but it still felt pretty ...

Knight Dragon, here to review the final part! All right, out with the technical. "I'm shocked. He hasn't said a word to me in... well I don't remember the last ...

More reviews from the Dragon!!!! Technique time! "Alot about me yet to be discovered./Laughing my passion/And jumping my fashion." These three lines really threw me. "Alot" should be "a lot", ...

All righty, time to review!!! This line: "Though it's long; but we all know,", why do you have a semi-colon? You could have used a comma. And the "but" is ...

Knight Dragon here to review. Technical first. "So confident about yourselve in the first place?'', you forgot an "s" on yourselves. "Lemme shed some...", get rid of lemme. You need ...

Hmm....interesting haiku. I liked how you showed the ridiculousness of such an idea (and how cruel it is, especially if people get technical). It conveyed the message it wanted to, ...

Knight Dragon, here for another review. All right, technical first, then we'll get down to the story. "It is known only not be be a pleasant feeling", what was "not ...

Knight Dragon, here to review. The only major technical thing I found was this: "The taller of the two boys glared down at the smallest. He was sixteen years old." ...

Hello, Knight Dragon here to review. All right, the minor technical things: "His eyes darted from a folder filed with papers to the clock on the oven." I believe you ...

Dear writer, you happen to have a comma splice in your post. " the person they're creeping on, a creeper may try to figure..." I tried to pick out all ...