Little Dragon
Once upon a time, in a big green forest, there was a dragon named Little Dragon. He had a green body with ten purple spikes on top. He had purple wings with two yellow stripes on each one. He had a yellow belly and purple spots all over him. And he had two shiny eyes and two big spikes on the top of his head.
Little Dragon was brave, smart and very, very cute, but there was one thing about him which was horrid, totally different, absolutely dreadful, something about him that was really, really bad.
He couldn’t breathe fire!
This made him a totally different dragon, in fact he looked like a dragon but most would think he was a lizard with wings.
Little Dragon would try really, really hard, but whenever he tried only the tiniest puff of black smoke would come out of his nostrils. He would even drink boiling hot water before trying which always helps but it didn’t help him.
The next day at school at the fringe of the forest was unbearable. They were practising breathing fire. The teacher was a kind dragon but Little Dragon was too scared to say his weakness. What if his teacher laughed at him, what if his classmates laughed at him and worst of all, what if he started crying? He’d be known as a sook for sure! Thinking about these things only made things worse. He couldn’t think of a way out of this one.
The first dragon stood in front of the class. He sucked in a big breath and then let go. A giant blaze came shooting out of his mouth and nostrils. It sounded like sausages sizzling on the barbeque. He finished with a series of puffs of black smoke. The other boys and girls did it the same
His teacher walked over to him and said, “Your turn Little Dragon.”
Little Dragon turned bright green, as green as the lightest green grass. A sick green colour. He felt tears forming in his eyes and trembled as he walked towards the front of the class where the rock sat. He sucked in a big breath and let go. He pushed himself as hard as he could but once again the tiniest puff of smoke came out. He felt a whole lake forming in his eyes and it soon became a river flowing down his face.
If you think this is as bad as it gets you are entirely wrong…
Little Dragon looked up and dreaded what he saw. SHOCKED!!!
Shocked faces just staring at him and they soon turned to laughing faces.
Little Dragon couldn’t take it anymore, he turned and ran.
Millions of tears ran down his face. He ran and RAN AND RAN!
He ran until his legs told him to fly but his wings were saggy. He hung his head all the way home.
“I’ll never breathe fire!” he cried.
He snuck home which was a cave, snuck passed his mother and ran into his bedroom. He jumped onto his bed and cried and CRIED AND CRIED!
In the morning he went for a fly when he heard a big cry.
“HELP! HELP!” he followed the cry towards a big lake surrounded by tall trees. He then saw a frightened girl being chased by the biggest dragon he’d ever saw! He had to help her! What would the dragon do to her? He thought of a plan.
‘When that enormous dragon comes here I’ll knock that tall tree on him!... But how?’ The girl came closer and closer AND CLOSER! And so did the dragon. The girl sprinted past and as the giant did Little Dragon sneezed, not just any sneeze! A big fiery blaze and it hit the tree which came crashing down on the big dragon. The dragon smashed into the lake and then flew out soaking wet screaming.
“SCARY LITTLE GIRL! SCARY LITTLE GIRL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Little Dragon had saved the little and found his fire!
WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT!
The girl came running over to Little Dragon puffing mad and said, “THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! I thought I would be skin and bones if I ran any further!” She then bent down and gently kissed little dragon on the nose. Little Dragon’s cheeks turned as red as Lightning McQueen. He giggled to himself with a proud, proud face. HE WAS A HERO! AND HE COULD BREATHE FIRE!
From then on he and the girl were friends, and he was FAMOUSE!
And best of all he COULD BREATHE FIRE!
And as usual, a fantasy story ends like this:
And they lived happily ever after.
The end
I left some mistakes in there because I thought they were cute of past me. “Famouse” *giggles*
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
Well Least you got the Dragon's right
Big Fan of Dragon's my hole life as such as My Name.
Anything from big to small Dragons witch is why I Liked Spyro Or Such
But about the Story. The story Was Really good for a 10 Year old or such, Better then Most people when it comes to Dragon's
So when I say this i mean it
Keep it up and Look forward to looking at more of your work from the old times and the New times
Enjoyed it thanks
Dragon
What a cute story! I really enjoyed reading this!
For the most part, I think your story is fine, I did notice that you have a lot of very, very long sentences though. There are also parts, such as the first paragraph, that are very choppy and a bit repetitive to read. I would try to go through and edit those a bit, just read it out loud and it should be pretty easy to spot them.
There were of course a few spelling errors, but I believe you are aware of those, as well as a few places where it doesn't make sense. When you say "the next day at school" it threw me off a bit because you hadn't been talking about a specific day in the first part. I would say "one day at school" instead.
I think there was another part, but I can't find it again so I'll leave it at that.
This is really an amazing story for being written at 10 years old! I would love to see it polished up.
Lovely piece!
+ 221B
I love it! Sounds like what I used to write when I was younger!
(Most of my stories I would burn though...)
Now THAT is a story!!
I love how you portrayed Little Dragon, and how you made him so expressive. And I love the spelling errors. So cute.
I don't think there is anything to edit here. It is brilliant!
This is lovely
Makes me wanna dig out the stories I wrote as a kid, but then they'll look rubbish compared to this
Aww thanks XD
That was really good! I loved how you made up the name Lightning McQueen as a reference to a fake celebrity dragon. It was really creative and all your little extra additions made it better than just a folk tale.
Thank you XD
This is so so cute. XD
XD
Pretty good for a ten-year-old! XD During that period of life I dreaded writing, and probably couldn't write well at all. Good job! It'd be fun to see your other works, and keep up the good work.
Thanks!
This was actually pretty good for age ten. [I'd be ashamed to post some of my writing from that time period of my life *covers head with the paper bag of shame*]. So do you want suggestions? I'm not going to pick everything apart, but I would just suggest getting rid of "And as usual, a fantasy story ends like this:" You had the beginning without something like "This is how normal fantasy stories begin", so that one line is unnecessary. Otherwise, that was pretty good.
Thank you!
Thank you!