dragonfphoenix

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "Quality of any performance is exhibited in accordance with unity and chemistry that its ingredients possess.", the "with unity and chemistry that its...", th

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "and I do it cause he says he loves me and it feels good when he kisses me between my lips" This felt really ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "When I was nervous; I had had this habit of twisting it around my finger.", the semi-colon should be a comma. Rule of thumb: ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "It had been two weeks since their argument and Layla still wasn’t talking to him." I read through that entire first section, and I ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: “Good? Well that makes a change. Report.” That middle sentence is really scripted. You should say something like, "Well you broke the tradition." or ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "...the sound has been removed.", as related to laptop fan, should be "dampened" or "quieted" instead of removed. You can never fully remove the ...

Knight Dragon, here to continue the reviews! So, back with the technical, again you need more punctuation and proper spelling. Example: "Jamison bent over the microscope and tried to concentrate ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "He chuckled, he was the brightest scientist in Paxton and it had taken him five years to create it, it was absolutely laughable that ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical first: "From her rucksack she pulls a small blanket, the girl also removes a small canteen of water and a bag of what seems ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Yay! I liked the content of this poem. I've always felt that everyone should have a memorial, and you definitely captured the monumental spirit in ...

Knight Dragon, here to review. I see the formatting gremlin got you too. Do you have this saved in a word doc? my advice would be to upload it from ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical first: "He complied and pulled the door shut behind them. Kadi laughed. “She was not checking me out!” The transition there is non-existent. You ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! "...for I have lost words, For you have changed..." Two "for"s so close together felt off. It was like you were explaining something, but then ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! All right, technical first. "Justin sat on the cold floor of an abandoned German mental asylum trying to fight off the nightmare that he had ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical first: What's your verb tense? You keep jumping sporadically back and forth between present and past tense. Please pick one and stick with it. ...