dogs

thankyou kiwalker and praisjoe for the good reviews =D =P forever zoey :evil:

hey hey hey drama queen, dogs here. I love your poem. i completely relate to it totally. this flows really well. and it sounds great the only thing i would ...

thanks for all your guys help, i will work on my poem, but what do you suggest other than the repetition of I am?? i despertly need more critics, i ...

[quote="dogs"]I am unsure what to call this. i am open to all suggestions Why did she go, she has left me. I was there when her beautiful dark brown eyes ...

thankyou very much for your help adna however what would you suggest for something other than "when her warmth was replaced by a clammy cold

thanks for the help haily, however what would you suggest instead of "i am"?? TuckEr EllsworTh

thanks jas I will try to add a bit more discription in to my piece. and i will try to get that book.

okay i will work on it thankyou for your help

thank you for all your help, i guess i will try to add a metaphor. i really appreciate it TuckEr EllsworTh

i agree with the comments above like blue dragon said the jump between midnight and sunrise was a little long however i would suggest maybe adding one other stanza maybe ...

mmm this is good but does it really make that much since?? i think that the ending should be changed

i think its good and you shoul continue but i think you have mixed up the narriative with the lyric

hey this is really good but i do get what you're talking about and where you are going

wow that is really good. i wish i was that good of a poet