darko.demark666

Slowly, the sun wakens from his slumber And starts a flame at the edge of the world, His brushstrokes are slow as he colors the horizon ; He is coloring ...

I'm not a poet, a writer, a story-teller, a falsifier, a leader, a follower, a friend, an enemy, a fighter, a lover--no, definitely[s],[/s] not a lover. A poet is a ...

The one rubbing my thigh is tapping up and down and up and down because you are nervous about something. . Please, put a pause somewhere. It's too long and ...

Love have hope for me, Let this heart find peace, In realms of thy love To this soul’s release. Remove one love. Please. The rhyming is going good so far. ...

[s]I said I would [/s]protect you. [s]I said I would [/s]guard you. [s]I said I would [/s]defend you. [s]I said I would [/s]watch over you…no matter what it took. Just ...

Hi, welcome to YWS Do you feel it? Not yet. The thing that lives in you? Actually, that sentence doesn't mean anything for itself. You'll need to connect it somehow ...

First of all, this should be in lyric poetry, and nowhere else. Secondly, I don't like heart-aches, most of them sound so "emo". Thirdly-no punctuation?! It's like your parents ask ...

The black hole gapes, a cloud of tiny tears— a spaghetti strainer, letting even light run through in streams. First stanza was okay, but this one... :? -the repetitions is ...

Shell by shell, imperfection compresses itself into mid-air. It creates a silent state of delirium throughout upstate New York. Right before human eyes, it made the front page and we’re ...

Rest your head, And close your eyes. I will guide you through this waking dreamland, This gilded city, Home to the jaded and the naïve . Nice catch. ... She ...

The deepest ocean; The clearest sky. A soaring eagle flying high. Or : The deepest ocean and the clearest sky, a soaring eagle who is flying high. Faded denim trudging ...

Two lovers Hearts burning, Ever dancing You'll need to correct the punctuation here. I'd put a dash in the end of the first verse. And also the same in the ...

melancholy fire like an icy claw clawing at the heart, . Red alert!!! Repetition doesn't work or fit or anything. Little advice: repetition is very hard to pull of so ...

If you want an old thread to be brought up, ask for a review on someone's "Will Review for Food" thread. :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :D :D

Hi, I just stopped by to say few things about your poem. :D It is red- red as the early moon, swathed in brilliant rubies, rising just at noon- It ...