dahlia58

Thank you very much. And yes, yellow tomatoes do exist. But they're not common.

This is cute! A really sweet variation of the original poem~ The rhyming structure is pretty interesting too.

Thank you.^^ This was written a while ago, and it's not really meant to be a poem. It just adds more info to Ruri's character (her mother's abusive).

A little^^

Very blunt. I know.

The structure of this poem is great. And the speaker's grief and pain are conveyed well. No mistakes. Fit for publishing.

I'm getting visions of two criminal pals doing crazy things like crazy people together...And they're expecting the other to follow along with them always.

My reviews tend to be short. Since the other reviewers usually cover everything else to say.^^ Sorry about the brevity.

Thank you very much^^

Yes she did~

I was told my story feels more like anime than an actual novel. Which is what I'm aiming for, but I'm not sure if this site accepts such styles....

I noticed the name change^^ Mae and Lux and great names. I really like your writing style. It's fairly easy to follow, and the scenes play themselves out smoothly, which ...

Please, offer your thoughts on the prologue and 1st chapter as well. I'll appreciate any criticism.^^

Also, you've gotten Ruri and Shou's personalities on the dot. Mamoru's a lot more active in Ch. 1, but he's not a morning person, and Amane is helpful. I'm happy ...

Thank you for your insightful commentary. I've briefly described the cast in Chapter 1. And Akari is explicitly mentioned in the prologue. As I mentioned in the story description, there ...