My tears staining the floor like blood,
the night's shadows haunting my every thought,
the agonizing poison coursing through my body and soul,
and only the moon's rays keeping me sane.
I just want to be free.
Somebody, save me please.
But all I see is my reflection in the broken mirror.
Hey, WinnyWriter here to leave a review. This is a unique thought you're using. Clearly the narrator must be experiencing dreadful agony. The way it's written, I get the idea that there is more than just physical pain going on. The part where it brings the word "sane" into the picture definitely shows that there is some mental/emotional pain as well. Great job showing the great desperation of the narrator. You're a talented writer, so keep up the good work.
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway.
First Impression
Okay...I'm impressed. Especially by the first stanaza. This is awesome. Keep up the good poetry!
Nitpicks
Again, I'm happy to say, there were absolutely none. For an extra measure I ran it through Grammerly (I don't usually do that btw) just to have a secant pair of eyes, and it came back with this report-no issues found. So congratulations!
Style & Flow
I do I have a few suggestions as far as style goes-
the agonizing poison coursing through my body and soul,
and only the moon's rays keeping me sane.
Somebody, save me please.
But all I see is my reflection in the broken mirror.
I want to be free
But all I see is my reflection in the broken mirror
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway.
First Impression
Okay...I'm impressed. Especially by the first stanaza. This is awesome. Keep up the good poetry!
Nitpicks
Again, I'm happy to say, there were absolutely none. For an extra measure I ran it through Grammerly (I don't usually do that btw) just to have a secant pair of eyes, and it came back with this report-no issues found. So congratulations!
Style & Flow
I do I have a few suggestions as far as style goes-
the agonizing poison coursing through my body and soul,
and only the moon's rays keeping me sane.
Somebody, save me please.
But all I see is my reflection in the broken mirror.
I want to be free
But all I see is my reflection in the broken mirror
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