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あ、無情 sung by Ann Lewis, 1st half. (Translation approved by the original composer)

by dahlia58


Lovely, isn't she?

Fluttering about, she's a fine lady, no?

Your beauty veils your true intents quite well.

Wielding kindness as a shield, men are so sly.

By the time the sun rises, you're already gone.

Tears are too salty for my tastes,

and jealousy leaves an ugly stain.

But who cares about that?

The moment he removes his sunglasses,

his eyes look so innocent and pure,

and I'm blown away by them each time.

I just can't win against this man.

Your faithless ways won't ever change.

Even if we're chained together, you'll still stray.

Once again, I've been defeated by your sweet words,

as the city becomes shrouded in mist.


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134 Reviews


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Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:01 am
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DrFeelGood says...



Quite a commendable piece!

Before reading this piece, I checkout the original song on YouTube to observe the beats and pacing of the original Japanese song

I thought of it as kind of a rebellious song which is kinda true looking at your lyrics. I am a little conflicted with the voice of your narrator. The pain, the angst being described here is quite realistic but it's kind of a one trick act. It gets old pretty quickly. You still keep me interested because of your sincere and insightful observations.

The moment he removes his sunglasses,

his eyes look so innocent and pure,

and I'm blown away by them each time.


This is where you truly shine. I would have loved a bit more of that. The jealously and tears felt a little generic compared to this. Here you paint an image of the person.


I understand that this is a translation of a popular song [1 million+ views on YouTube when I watched it], but I'd love to see this branch off and be something of its own. You have got something personal and insightful going on here. It was definitely an interesting read! Hope this helps!




dahlia58 says...


Thank you very much.^^ However, I cannot change other people's work while translating. This song is, as you said, rather generic. Ms. Yukawa said I could use this in my novel "Sleepless," so that's what I'll be doing (it's a karaoke scene).

Once again, thank you very much.



dahlia58 says...


This is a "translation," not an original work, after all^^



DrFeelGood says...


I understand. I apologize if I came out as rude with that suggestion, but I was suggesting you could adapt the theme. I was unaware of the translation being used in your novel. Sounds quite exciting! Good luck!



dahlia58 says...


Thank you very much.



User avatar
134 Reviews


Points: 474
Reviews: 134

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Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:00 am
DrFeelGood wrote a review...



Quite a commendable piece!

Before reading this piece, I checkout the original song on YouTube to observe the beats and pacing of the original Japanese song

I thought of it as kind of a rebellious song which is kinda true looking at your lyrics. I am a little conflicted with the voice of your narrator. The pain, the angst being described here is quite realistic but it's kind of a one trick act. It gets old pretty quickly. You still keep me interested because of your sincere and insightful observations.

The moment he removes his sunglasses,

his eyes look so innocent and pure,

and I'm blown away by them each time.


This is where you truly shine. I would have loved a bit more of that. The jealously and tears felt a little generic compared to this. Here you paint an image of the person.


I understand that this is a translation of a popular song [1 million+ views on YouTube when I watched it], but I'd love to see this branch off and be something of its own. You have got something personal and insightful going on here. It was definitely an interesting read! Hope this helps!




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Tue Oct 29, 2019 9:51 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...



This is a cool and thought-provoking piece. It flows well and the thoughts fall into well-defined separateness rather than blurring all together. I really like the part that says, "The moment he removes his sunglasses, his eyes look so innocent and pure." The wording is admirable. It shows that there is hidden character. Overall, the piece is lovely. Thanks for sharing it with us.




dahlia58 says...


The composer said I can use my translation in "Sleepless." Someone's going to sing it at some point.

Thanks for your comment^^



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Tue Oct 29, 2019 1:17 pm
EverLight says...



Seems like it's already been edited.




dahlia58 says...


A little^^



EverLight says...


Ah ha.




“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.”
— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince