confetti

Frozen air drifted from her lips, I'm going to have to disagree with the comment above, I feel like this is a good way to describe the way you can ...

I know you're trying to get effect from the use of more punctuation than necessary, but, I personally, find it obnoxious. So this is what I will focus on in ...

Satana Hellstrom stood in the middle of the dance floor , dancing alone while moving her hips all over the place. Her red locks bounced with every movement she made ...

To be honest, this was sort of sweet, but it was nothing special. It's almost too simple and too repetitive. Love is pretty Love is nice Love is divine Love ...

I liked the message of the poem, you pulled that off well. The way it is written, however, could be improved. little butterfly, i found you dead I realize you're ...

A single car idled in the parking lot and , at this time of night , it was no surprise. “Cause it’s not yours.” Loved the ending, it added that ...

I ran around in aimless circles, dancing with them and watching them blink. I would change the second dancing to something else - twirling, perhaps? You've already said you're dancing, ...

Things in blue are only suggestions, but you should still consider taking the advice. Read the spoiler for my nitpicks. To Heather, from Luke. If I might make a suggestion, ...

You may want to go back and check out the memory. The [i ]' and '[/ i]' didn't quite work ;) She drew it open, feeling her heart beat . ...

1:34 a.m: The dark figure enter ed the room. Everywhere else, you write in past-tense, so do the same here. That's my only nitpick. I really liked this, short, simple, ...

I know this is supposed to be written the way a text is, but let's get real, no one texts like this. Even people that text like "hey bb sup ...

It's neat how each paragraph, although it looks similar to the last, is different in it's own way. One paragraph talks of happiness, while the other talks of the opposite. ...

" (delete the space here) I never want this to end " H aha Todd! You're talking as if it was the last time we'd see each other! " I ...

I'm not going to comment on any grammatical errors, because they're very slim, and hardly important. What I did want to say is that I find that you change tenses ...

This review is mostly going to be about grammar. stuff in blue are suggestions stuff in red are things you really should change stuff in green are my comments I ...