chocoholic

Okay, first of all, your plot is intriguging, but I was only able to find that out because I kept on reading. You need to space out your work before ...

I hope you don't mind me digging this up, but I was looking at your writing and decided to review it. I liked this piece. What magor historical event is ...

Hmm... short. Very short, much shorter than the others, but good all the same. I'm still confused about the grandmother, but apart from that, no complaints. Post more soon! h, ...

Wow! That's really good. I don't understand about the mother's death. Is it because of the father, and he killed both of them? But if it was him, I thought ...

I quite liked it. The innocence of a child. The bit about the money is very good. When I was little, I thought we were really rich andf had loads ...

I can't say I loved this poem, but that's more my taste in writing than your actual writing. The flow was a bit akward. Sometimes it was really good, and ...

I liked it. What you were saying was awesome. Just to merely express I think the wording on this should be changed around a bit. It just didn't seem to ...

To be honest, I didn't like it very much. I think this would be better suited in lyrics than in poetry. I didn't really get what you were trying to ...

Okay, first of all, your grammar is non-existen here. You need to capitalise i. and with the years of seconds that passed I didn't get this line. if only you ...

This was shorter than the first bit, but I thought it was better. There wasn't as much explaining of the world. Just story. "You'd do well to stop insulting me. ...

Nice. It's about a diary or journal, right? Moving onto the next entry, wanting a differnet past when you read it back and not being able to properly describe all ...

This was really good. There was one bit I didn't understand- The truth lead to tears. From everything she heard. I think it should be, The Truth lead to tears, ...

I'm no good at lyrics, but I liked these. It wasn't too cliche, and the actual words were really nice. The only thing I can complain about was I had ...

Nice. I know you said you didn't need me to review anything of yours, but I would feel really guilty if I didn't. This is cool. Your teacher sounds great. ...

Well, this is certainly a different type of story. I liked the plot line and the way you wrote it, but I don't think the extremely short sentences work all ...