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Hi, Dark! While I don't share the same position on the subject, I definitely think that there are people in the world who feel like this. You said you're not ...

Hi, Emily! Welcome to YWS and congrats on getting your first chapter posted. Good: You're descriptions are amazing. I love, love, love descriptive writing and you've got it down pat. ...

Hi, MoIIy :) The good: I like the progression of events here and the way you weave information about Lucy's past into the story. You're showing, not telling, and that's ...

Hi, ShadowVyper :) Let's get started! Good: All of your sentences flow extremely well which is great. I like your descriptions and the way your characters interact with each other, ...

Hi, Swiftfur :) Good: You've got a great knack for description and you really give some insight into the world you've created here. I like that you've started out with ...

Hi, ScarlettFire :) So, here we go. Good: I love how you're really descriptive with the actions of the characters. It gives me a sense of actually watching these things ...

Hi, Pokemonlover :) I'm a huge fan of Pokemon so it's nice to read something based around that world. I like your dialogue a lot and the interactions between the ...

Hi, Bugslake :) I've always loved stories about fallen angels more than vampires/werewolves/zombies and you've taken an interesting stance on the subject. I'm really excited to see where you go ...

Hi, Lucrezia :) So I read the last chapter and I liked it better than the first chapter and now I read this chapter and I like it better than ...

Hi, Giuliaarmiero, welcome to YWS :) First off I'd like to say that you have a ton of potential here. I like the idea you're going with and I'm curious ...

Hi, Mephistolesangel :) Okay this seems like a really intriguing story because it's NOT looking like another paranormal romance. I really hope that's not what it will end up to ...

Hi, Emily :) Wow, this was a really moving piece. Usually I have a problem with bits like this that do so much telling instead of showing but I think ...

Wow, this actually brought tears to my eyes. I'm kind of stunned. I don't really ever expect anything from short stories but this was fantastic in a very simple way. ...

I like what you've got going so far. There's a lot of potential, plot-wise, but I agree that listing off each class and their abilities was a bit info-dumpy. It ...

Hi, Silverlock! I really like what you've written here. You're really descriptive and I love that. To me, it seems like you've personified how a great day can go bad ...