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Re: Titor, John.
This poem is pretty sad to me. You chose words like "roadkill," "hastily," and "dead," and what can I say? I have the chills just thinking about this. And I ...
Jul 13, 2015 -
Re: Tragedy
I thought this story had full potential. I believe that this is a draft because I found many mistakes that you would have to fix. My dream was dull with ...
Mar 27, 2015 -
Re: Clocks
I loved this story because of the build up. The more you used the tick tocks, the more my heart raced to find out what happened next. This is a ...
Mar 27, 2015 -
Re: The Rest of My Days
This poem just described everything I felt when I was with my exboyfriend. I feel that way with a certain crush I have now. I mean we all have those ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: L'appel du vide
The poem completely matches the title of the poem, especially when you put the title in a different language. I just love how you describe what being in this void ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Black Fire - Prologue
"Jenna," Lizzy said, closing her notes and getting up. At her words, Lizzy thew a glance... "No idea," Lizzy mouthed back. ...the door, and just as she reached the threshold, ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Dystopian Prince - Chapter 1
"12" is twelve Father refused to take the gun, and Uncle grew angry. The blood rushed from Father's face, and he hastily lifted two pistols. "24" is twenty-four. "1" is ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: The Clepsydra: Chapter 1- Disappearance of Normality
Once my eyes have adjusted to the bright rays, I notice that the sun is coming... Lying next to me, I notice a young girl a bit older than me, ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Words I am Missing
Life at Eighteen: I wish that this poem could be in stanza format instead of this paragraph. I feel as if the pauses are not meant for paragraphs but separate ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Eyes on ice
she lays on the ground "Help me," she says "Please," she pleads I only found those few errors. Poetry doesn't usually have grammar errors, but this made me want to ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: A God's Eyes
This looks like a good piece. What I highly recommend more than anything is to make more paragraphs. If you keep a piece this long at one paragraph, people are ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Silver Lining - Chapter 1
school campus with her mom at her side and a big, chocolate brown dog next... that said, 'Service Dog. Do Not Pet." me a question, and instead, I waved him ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: The Alien in the Trash Can
This story was very entertaining. I enjoyed the little laugh. I just thought that sometimes Beety spoke too maturely when it came to telling a story to little kids. I'll ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Love (Through the Eyes of a Gamer)
I am a video gamer myself, and I understood every reference to this poem completely. As a gamer, I loved how you put the gaming elements into something universal such ...
Mar 26, 2015 -
Re: Grace in Diction
This is a very thought out, short essay you have here. If you had to do this for a class assignment, I hope you did a very good job on ...
Mar 26, 2015
