carelessaussie13

Hi there, Okay, see here's the thing. You know how to describe a scene. You know how to describe a break-up and the pain of it. But what I'm seeing ...

Hi there, The first thing I saw in your poem is the way you struggled to rhyme. People do this so often; why bother with rhyming, anyway? Your words should ...

Hi there! There is a case for repetition, but too much repetition is never a good thing. I'm going to give you one piece of advice for this poem: Pick ...

Hi there. Okay, so basically I like your message. The problem was, you totally sacrificed content for form! I mean, rhythm is fun and all, but only when it accentuates ...

Hi there. Wow! I am very impressed. Your poem is very impressive, and made even more impressive because of your age. Let me just do some picking, though, to help ...

Hi there, Really nice job. Dialogue, characters, setting, all top notch. Not much to criticize. My only problem with the story was the very ending. Victoria seemed like a strong ...

Hi there, So basically, I finished reading your poem with mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I love the push-and-pull thing you created, which we all experience one way ...

Hi there, Well, first of all, my favorite thing about your story was the character Mike; you could see how he would act, and you added lovely little details like ...

Hi there, If there's one thing I dislike about romance stories, it's excessive sex scenes. Sex has its place in a romance story (duh) but only when it moves the ...

Hi there. I have a couple things. FIrst off, you keep referring to stars twinkling and flashing, but do they really? Plus, regardless of whether or not stars actually twinkle, ...

Hi there, So first of all, this looks like a fairly long poem but actually it's extremely short because it's mostly just the repetition of those same lines all the ...

Hmm. Interesting. Excellent in the sense that it makes me think. You don't mean bestiality, do you? Or possibly love of a shiny red car? But then, eye of the ...

Hi there, Okay, so the first thing that jumped out at me reading this was the choppy quality of it. It's really hard to get into a poem when there ...

My friend, this is pure unadulterated genius. As writers we are always looking for ways to go where no pen has gone before and by golly you've done it. Honestly, ...

Hi there, Okay, first off, LOVED this! It was well-written, created suspense and brought conclusion to everything it promised. To be honest, you could totally flesh this out into a ...