brassnbridle

I agree- parts of it read awkwardly. Try to think of how you would say it if you were reading out loud or talking to someone- it might help you ...

It's an awfully short chapter- not much to go on. I did like the two sentences beforehand, but the story is sparse. The two dudes in black with briefcases was ...

I know this review's incredibly late, but I like Harry Potter and just wanted to say my part. I think you did a good job with this, and like some ...

One thing I'd like to say is that I don't like the tense, but that's just my opinion. As far as the story, it was very hard to follow. After ...

The grammer mistakes I saw have already been mentioned, but I wanted to tell you I like your story idea. It caught my interest and by the end I was ...

You write about the Harry Potter characters so well - their reactions and dialogue and interactions- I love reading your stuff. It makes me laugh just like the origional books ...

This story was interesting from the begining, and I just loved how you narrated it. I didn't entirely understand the part about owl eyes, though- as in color, or shape? ...

I haven't read the original Artemis Fowl book for a while, but if my memory is correct, Artemis uses a computer to decode the fairy book. I just read Artemis ...

I think I enjoyed your first chapter more, but only because it was a little more interesting. You do a good job describing their actual reactions, but I'd suggest going ...

Leaving aside elvin dialog, as it is up to the author, i think your beginning is very confusing. I had trouble keeping track of who was who and how they ...

I like you fit this story in between the origional Harry Potter books. In my opinion, you have the character's personalities, speech patterns, and interactions down great . It's very ...

I think you have a great story plot! It catches your attention right away and is interesting to read. Just a couple of suggestions, though- In your prologue, i think ...