User avatar

bookworm201

  • Short Story » General, General Re: Life of Grubb

    I love the first two lines. Congrats on stepping into the narrative naturally. I know you need to tell the story, but the one thing I couldn't mess with was ...

    Jun 28, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Escape

    first off, when i realized what they were going to do, i felt a lump in my throat. my thought (in which i pray i am not repeating anyone, but ...

    Jun 28, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Cancer

    things i liked- the detached tone, the future tense in the end, the plurality, the language, the secong person. things i was confused about- the reference to the anti-drug campaigns. ...

    May 11, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Shiner

    i love the lazy summer day vibe, and the characters are interesting, but they do seem older. just one thing that really stuck out- do guys say "every fiber in ...

    May 11, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: all about dark holes

    spelling, grammar, and format need work. also you need more reviews. i got the depression bit, but there isn't much to keep a reader locked in. since this is your ...

    May 11, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Hey, Its High School

    Yay! V. good, I knew you could do it! And it is a bit cliche, but you write well, so it'd be one of those books i'd pick up when ...

    Apr 11, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Journals of the Broken

    Good idea, but kinda hard to gauge from this point. The one problem I see in this is the diary format. It's a cool style, but you're not really pulling ...

    Feb 25, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Six silver Chains

    Oddly enough I had an idea along this line years ago- a necklace you can't get off- but I never followed through with it. It'll be cool to see where ...

    Feb 25, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Lycanthropy

    Good idea, but werewolves are a bit overdone... I'm not quite sure about this, if you're going with a more historical aspect, I think you can't use contractions. Not quite ...

    Feb 8, 2008
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird

    Greatest book my crappy middle school teacher made us read. It almost makes up for her making us read books three reading levels below our grade level. One of the ...

    Jan 19, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: delete please

    Whoa. The concept reminds me of a book I read years ago, but I don't know what it was called. The details seem surreal- like when you've got a high ...

    Jan 19, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Senphalia: Gaia’s Academy-Prologue

    A good summary of one of those universal truths. The change the pov needs to be tweaked, but that's easy enough. As a general rule, pov should be the same ...

    Dec 29, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Blood Moon: Chapter One

    Okay, I don't write or really even read werewolf stories, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your story sounds good. The character flaws you've introduced are ...

    Dec 9, 2007
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: I Just Read ERAGON and ELDEST!

    they're the books you read if you just want to read- like chewing bubble gum. It won't fill you up, but at least it gets your mind off of food/reading. ...

    Nov 28, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Blue Princess#1

    interesting premise, but you need to get in the description of En earlier- I have a feeling that this is something that will be important, so the earlier you learn ...

    Nov 25, 2007


When Larry King retires in 120 years John Mulaney should replace him.
— The Internet