blackpencil

That was much better than the first chapter, I think! Great job! There are some things I caught, though. At the beginning you didn't tell us who was speaking. This ...

I don't usually read stuff like this but just a quick reply before I RUN OUT OF TIME. First of all, the story became to fast. You started off slow ...

Excellent job! I really enjoy fantasy novels like this. Just a few things. You need to use commas at the end of quotations that continue sentences. Such as, "It is ...

"This is not a good idea," stated a slightly hidden, female, human like figure. Too many adjectives describing this character are placed one after another. Try to incorporate these descriptions ...

I liked it. I wish I could write poems like that... But If wishes were fishes then I'd have to go fishing! ... But I'm a fantasy writer... Anyway, this ...

Good story but i just found some things you might want to know about. [“Hey! Don’t you dare make fun of Lizzy!”? Allie yelled.] Why is there a question mark ...

Wow! Very interesting and gory! (I hope that's what you were aiming for) I liked your style. Just a few things. "These newest boys the company had outsourced had finally ...

Hi I've seen some of your work and I like it! Except for one thing. Your style seems to be to use slang internet terms like saying "u" instead of ...

Good story! I need to keep my reviews up so here's the stuff. "I was dreaming I was wandering in the middle of a golden field. The surrounding sea of ...

Great job! I know I'm only a Junior Writer but I have to keep the 2:1 review rule thingy, so... Anyway, yeah, you can choose to ignore all of this ...