I agree with blackpencil. This was not, by any means, a bad poem. However your writing style is too slang-y. The only problem with that is, and this is not an attack on you, but people may not take you to seriously when they see words constantly ending with z rather than s, u instead of you and 2 instead of to. If you want your poem to get recognized by a wider audience, which it should because it has some good potential, than I suggest editing the way it is written. Good work though!
Points: 1558
Reviews: 12
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