blackhike

Alright time to get nit picky, not to be mean but your first conversation "Eric hissed" kind of threw me off, pick a softer word because that one doesn't transition ...

i gotta say your writing is fricknn amazing, I totally sync'd with your characters as if reading a real novel. You defiantly have an amazing talent and if you don't ...

hmm. I like your writing, its ery interesting but some of the words dont fit well into the sentences for exp "He has just shifted from North Carolina" A better ...

this piece was pretty confusing, over all the sentencing didn't mesh well. Every thing is very rushed. You don't give the reader time to learn about your characters, also theirs ...

in the beginning when he goes inconsiderate bitch, that's unnecassarry "Bitch" and then spit or something would give this piece more emotion. I agree with Pudin you started from in ...

good work o the writing and nice intro, you gave me a sense that this piece was just going to be another cliche. I think your ideas were strong, your ...

this is surprisingly a great idea, never read a story anout a demon actually falling in love with a boy. One thing I thought was off... first of all I ...

I know your writing about the hardships of love, but I'm sorry I just don't think you poured enough emotions into this poem. Your feelings aren't expressed clearly enough, so ...

personally I really like your story, it wasn't what I expected thats for sure. I gotta I say like your writing, and your analogies a quite good. All you need ...

I like your characters,I see can see you've drawn them well together,and am looking forward to what happens next. I can't wait to see how you mold this story, and ...

I really liked this one, but I got to say you defiantly went twilight at one point, with the thing about the contacts. Personally I think that could draw a ...

well played jay leigh smith, i think your cliff hanger pretty interesting (purple eyes?). Out of the two I've read so far I say your writing starting to flow better ...

personally I think your writing style is quite good, but your charcaters lack depth. The thing about third person view point is that all the characters will lack depth if ...

i"m new to writing, but I read a ridiculous amount of books, it's okay to disregard any advice I give you it's only my opinnion. Andrew is not truely hateable ...

I haven't read the first chapter yet, but I thought you did fairly good job, the characters came together well, and I think you put alot of thought into how ...