barefootrunner

Hi there! Great job with the pantoum! And kudos for taking it on! Firstly, grammar and spelling shred: "laying" should be "lying". You lay a table, but you lie on ...

Hi there! A quick review for a short work :) Right, let's look at the punctuation. You have lots of commas. Some don't even need to be there. Write out ...

Hi there! barefootrunner here with a quick review :) Okay, so firstly, good work on the imagery! I'm really seeing visual concepts here, and that's a great sign that a ...

Hi there! barefootrunner here with a quick review :) Belated welcome to YWS! My first thought was, what a huge column of text! It would look smaller and more reader-friendly ...

Hi there! Just a quick review for your piece. Spelling and grammar: You did great here, but you had a few small matters: He had 4 older brothers and a ...

Hi there! I'm here for a quick grammar shred, and just to tell you that I enjoyed this and had a good laugh :) Let's go: This is designed to ...

Hi there! Happy review day! First off, I really enjoyed reading your piece! It's got a nice, easy to follow style and lots of atmosphere. You have set up the ...

Hi there and I'm back yet again for my last review of your work! Let's have a look. Oh! And happy review day to you! Okay, so I'm going to ...

Hi there! Back again for another review and once again, happy review day! Okay, so you still have some Harry Potter elements going, but it's gaining more individuality now, which ...

Hi there and once again, happy review day! Let's jump straight into another review on your work! Okay, so my first thought was that this is exactly the same as ...

Hi there! I've got another quick review for you! (Happy review day by the way!) Okay, so what I saw here, was a great improvement in style. You've got a ...

Hi there! Happy review day :) Okay, I've got a quick review for a quick piece! I didn't have much to complain of about this piece, but there is one ...

Hi there! Happy review day! *whistles a tune and tap-dances* Okay, I'll get on with it now! Firstly, you have a couple of small spelling and grammar errors, e.g. "where ...

Hi there and happy review day! Welcome to YWS :) I really like dystopian novels, and this one fits the bill. Here are some quick notes: I think you could ...

Hi there! And once again, happy review day! You need to read over this and check to make sure your direct speech is right, and your capitalization is constant. You ...