barefootrunner

Hi there and welcome to YWS! I hope you have a great time here. In addition, happy review day! Okay, so firstly, you need some work on spelling and grammar, ...

Hi there and welcome to YWS! AND happy review day! Firstly, your spelling and grammar could do with a little tweaking. YOu need to make sure your direct speech is ...

Hi there! Happy review day once more! Okay, with everything coming full circle, the pace is picking up and things are looking rosier. I'd still suggest you only start introducing ...

Hi there! Happy review day! Okay, so I'm feeling way more comfortable now that there is something that I've seen before, and I know there's a storyline going here, re-using ...

Hi there! Great chapter, once more :) Quick points I would like to touch on: You are still using the present perfect instead of the past perfect tense at times. ...

Hi there! Okay, so just a very quick review this time :) Yep, another character! It's getting too much for readers to remember the previous plots and characters. I'm going ...

Hi there! I'm back for another review :) So my first big point is the tenses you use. You have the normal past, and then you use the present perfect ...

Hi Aria! I've read your first chapter and I'm now going to dive in and review this one, starting with a quick delve into grammar, followed by character and plot ...

Hi Nether :) Well, I'm guessing skorlir got all the typos, so I'm just going to go through plot, characters and style. PLOT: Right, so you've got it going. There ...

Hi there! Welcome to YWS and I hope you enjoy it here! Okay, so spelling and grammar-wise, I could find little lacking! There was this, though... Since it’s been deteriorating, ...

Hi there! barefootrunner here with a quick review! Okay, so I see you have a bouncing rhyme scheme and a definite, clear theme. Let's take a look at what the ...

Hi there! Wow, this was quite refreshing! It almost doesn't even seem like poetry! The lineation is highly unconventional by anyone's standards and it's free verse with a capital F. ...

Hi there! Back for the last time for now! Okay, tips: 1.) The first person mode is very personal -- use it. When writing in first person, the reader can ...

Hi there! It's me again! Firstly, you have a plot going now! So, my tips for this piece: 1.) Characters have hearts. They have emotions. When someone tells you you ...

Hi there! Back again for a review! Okay, my tips for the day: 1.) If the reader has probably seen something before, you don't have to describe it that well. ...