aspiringyoungwriter

Hello funkyreg101! I'm aspiringyoungwriter and I'm gonna be critiquing your story today(tonight?)! I liked the plot of this story a lot. How you began it made me want to know ...

Hello anaellelabonne! I'm aspiringyoungwriter and I'll be your reader today! While I really liked where the story was going, I have a feeling that there's plenty of mischief ahead ;-), ...

Hello helenelizabethclarke! I'm aspiringyoungwriter and I'm going to see what things I can find to fix! Not many, I'll tell you that! You're spelling is really good. Along with your ...

Whoa! I got about halfway through and lost my place! I started all over again! The thing that really jumped out at me: The paragraph size. You need to indent ...

Haha! Love the way it ended and how you get the sense that everyone is in on some sort of secret but Victoria! I'm not gonna get all nit-picky on ...

[quote]Every fairy tale story has to have its distressed female waiting for her Knight in Shining Armor to come and save her from her peril.[/quote] This is just a minor ...

Okay, I think this is the makings of a good story, but you need to remember a few things. First, even a short entry like this needs paragraphs. Remember that ...

I noticed this:[quote="OynxFire"]\ I believe conceived on an old, cheap motel mattress, somewhere where they had the money to stay a few days. \.[/quote] I think this should be: I ...

Hi! I think your story was good, if a little vague. The main character seems kind of pessimistic while evaluating herself in the mirror, which I thought was interesting. I ...

I don't know how to do the quote thing but I'll do my best. Here I go... Quote: "Being stuck as a wolf was painful, and the rocky shore ahead ...

Awesome. You wrote a great story here, but I did notice some things that weren't quite... right. Like, you didn't really note the changing of time and what happened to ...

Okay, so I know my advice won't help very much but here we go... So I noticed that you didn't really describe your main character enough for me to imagine ...

Okay, so your story was good, I liked it but you need to make it a bit more entertaining(no offense). And sometimes your grammar is a bit incorrect. I really ...

Great job! I loved this story, it was entertaining and imaginative! In my opinion there really isn't much to critique. But how do you pronounce 'Uruvion'? You should have, like, ...

WOW. You did great with this story. I think you could take it far. But I do have some things to point out. When you said 'Blood ran down in ...