Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Uruvion sniffed the cold, rancid air of the night. Being an elf he had better sense of smell than any human. Throughout the 203 years of his life, Uruvion had seen many horrors... including, the extermination of his race. The human. A barbaric, murderous race. He and Niva were the last of their kind. Niva nudged his arm, interrupting his flashback.
"They're moving," she whispered thrashing back her long hair.
Three large Orks marched by as Uruvion strung his bow. Niva on the other hand was an Elf more suited for close-range combat. He knocked an arrow and struck down an Ork with blinding swiftness. Niva had already assassinated two others. Uruvion came down out of the clearing took his wand from its pouch. He upheld the magic from deep inside him and screamed, " Voltrus!" In a flash of light every Ork in the camp was incinerated. Silence finally lurked through the starry night.
Okay...intriguing start that you've got right there. Although, I kind of do have to ask, as impressive as this display of power to open happens to be, how do humans manage to wipe out a race with that much power. It looks from this opening that these two alone could wipe out a full human army, in fact they are sort of wiping out an army here, and one made of beings normally considered more powerful than humans. Its a bit of a nitpick, but I just have to ask. Besides that, solid opening here.
"The map has to be here somewhere," exclaimed Niva as she shuffled through some papers.
Her voice was firm and strong, yet graceful and smooth. Uruvion joined her in searching for the map. The map... the one thing that held their destinies so tightly. The map to Avalon was the secret. Rumors were going around that elves had been spotted. But, Uruvion was very skeptical. On the other hand Niva seemed to have more hope, which sparked some in him too.
"I found it!" Niva rose a folded paper in the air.
Alright, well that one's a little odd. Given quite how much hype you gave that map it was found kind of easily. So I feel like you might need to either stretch this scene out a bit more and make it seem like thing is a bit tougher to get or start the story after they've gotten it and make it seem like a difficult artifact to get using flashbacks or dialogue.
Excited, they sat it down on a desk and unwrapped it. It showed all of Avalon from the Merian ocean, to the Avalon forest. She tied it once again and put it in her tunic. Uruvion and Niva slowly walked out of the Ork camp and came to their beautiful white steed. Niva made clicking sounds, and the horse came to her without restraint. The sound of an explosing rang through the night shocking them all.
"Humans!" shouted Uruvion mounting his horse.
They quickly sped off away from the danger that they feared. But, to their dismay a band of armed soldiers waited for them at their escape route. This time they wouldn't get away so easy...
Hmm well that's a promising ending there. I love the cliffhanger, and the excitement you create from that. Its quite a nice addition to the end of the scene and this time maybe there's a little bit of an explanation as to how the race of the elves could have been wiped out. Well, all in all, that's a lovely ending I think the only probably being that it is once again a bit rushed.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.