artemis15sc

Hey, I want to start by saying you have an interesting plot and characters. I wanted to read more after your first paragraph, which is a great sign. I do ...

I was trying to find the next part of the prologue, so I'm not sure if this in the chronological next part in your story or not. I noticed that ...

This was an interesting piece. I found your choice of line breaks particularly intriguing. The way they were seperated by the thoughts flow into each other. It's seems like it ...

Hey, I'm back. Once again, it was an engaging story. I find it interesting because none of this seems related to kissing a Hayden Beauford, but it still feels like ...

Heyo, I'm back. Let's get down to business. Le fleur de chardon wasn't a big tavern but it was a lovely place to have a drink with some friends. This ...

I skimmed through the other comments, so hopefully I'm just repeating things that have already been said. "James looked at the hair which it is very bright." You could make ...

Hey there, I really like this beginning. It's a great way to introduce us to your main character and the conflict of the story. It's a very creative and intriguing ...

Okay, there’s a lot of things I like about this, but I’ll start with my issues. First, I wanted to establish exactly what type of narration you’re using. Do you ...

This was your first attempt? I had to burn my first poem it was so terrible. So you've definitely got something going for you. I would have to disagree with ...

First of all it was really beautiful descriptions. You captured the world of the Greek gods perfectly. The one thing I would say is be careful of telling instead of ...

First of all I love your story. Really all I have is nitpicks, it was that awesome. "Black was the color of uniformity for the government. I was that shocked ...

When I first started reading this I was hoping for a slightly different take on the whole butterfly thing, and in the beginning I was kind of disappointed. However, as ...

I freaking love wolves!!!!!! Alright I was mostly going to talk about all those random line formats like this one. attempting to catch the prey. But the other pretty much ...

I loved the poem too. It made me think about poetry as an art, i think it was one of those poems that appears to be surface level but really ...

I'm impressed with the way you were to talk to your audience correctly, I've never been able to do that. And your descriptions were superb, I could see this girl ...