Like a Butterfly

When I first started reading this I was hoping for a slightly different take on the whole butterfly thing, and in the beginning I was kind of disappointed. However, as I read on it felt you had given this idea it's own voice and new light.
There was one thing about this poem that made me absolutely ecstatic. It wasn't the flow or word choice though that was good, and it wasn't any particular line of stanza; it was this.

Like a butterfly trapped in its cocoon
So afraid to leave, and be on its own
Away from the nice warm place, and a nice warm family
But if it does leave, it will become something much more
A beautiful butterfly, flying off on its own
It wants to show the world, what it can do
It wants to be, everything it can be
But it can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

(OMG!!!!)

This summer seems so long
So endless
Complaining I want nothing more than to run away
Never come back
If I only knew the way
But this is all talk
Because deep down that fear is still there
No more being taken care of, but also no more rules

my only big issue when reading it, as far as the wording, I dont like how you say "nice" twice in the second line of the chours. I'd change that up.

Other than that, it was a pretty good song. It was kinda typical as far as the metaphor. But thats okay. Its a start. It good to have a foundation of a song to start with. Espically when its about something this important.

Its a good song, it could use some work. But its a good start. And it does sound quite fimilar. But they may just be because of the metaphor and hearing it so many times.

-Lexi

Interesting song about having to grow up and eventually move out and go to college (at least that's what I got out of it). I thought the song was okay, but you didn't have to have this:

Like a butterfly trapped in its cocoon
So afraid to leave, and be on its own
Away from the nice warm place, and a nice warm family
But if it does leave, it will become something much more
A beautiful butterfly, flying off on its own
It wants to show the world, what it can do
It wants to be, everything it can be
But it can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

The song is alright. It's pretty typical though; branching off and the butterfly metaphor. I mean it is great, and I probably couldn't come up with a song half as good. But, I think you need to think a bit more outside the box. Also, I always like the songs when you can't really tell what it means. You know the ones where you would have hours of conversations about what each line means. But from the first segment I knew it was about college. eighteen long years, branch off, what I want to be, yeah college. I hope you don't think this review was mean, I really am sorry if I come off mean, but I thought i'd just let you know how I feel. You did do a wonderful job with the whole rhyming and clever wording! Just maybe be a bit more atypical. Awesome job though!

Love,
LittleLionWoman

Now I’ve hit this fork in the road
It’s time for me to branch off,--- very typical
And be on my own
But these fears prevent me from being what I want to be
This is all I’ve known for eighteen long years
Am I really ready?

Like a butterfly trapped in its cocoon
So afraid to leave, and be on its own
Away from the nice warm place, and a nice warm family
But if it does leave, it will become something much more
A beautiful butterfly, flying off on its own
It wants to show the world, what it can do
It wants to be, everything it can be
But it can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

As a child, life was so much simpler
Trapped in a little box,
No one could convince me of the world’s evils--- that's really good.
I always had someone to look after me
Always had food set on the table
And my needs were always met
Life was so simple, trapped in a cocoon

Like a butterfly trapped in its cocoon
So afraid to leave, and be on its own
Away from the nice warm place, and a nice warm family
But if it does leave, it will become something much more
A beautiful butterfly, flying off on its own
It wants to show the world, what it can do
It wants to be, everything it can be
But it can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

This summer seems so long
So endless
Complaining I want nothing more than to run away
Never come back
If I only knew the way
But this is all talk
Because deep down that fear is still there
No more being taken care of, but also no more rules

Like a butterfly trapped in its cocoon
So afraid to leave, and be on its own
Away from the nice warm place, and a nice warm family
But if it does leave, it will become something much more
A beautiful butterfly, flying off on its own
It wants to show the world, what it can do
It wants to be, everything it can be
But it can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

Am I really ready for this?
No more rides anywhere I want
Rather a public bussing system
No more parents reminding me to do my homework
I’m expected to do it on my own
No one is there to pay for school
Now I must get a job,
And pay for my own way

Like a butterfly trapped in its cocoon
So afraid to leave, and be on its own
Away from the nice warm place, and a nice warm family
But if it does leave, it will become something much more
A beautiful butterfly, flying off on its own
It wants to show the world, what it can do
It wants to be, everything it can be
But it can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

I am like a butterfly
Trapped in my cocoon
If I finally leave,
There’s so much more I can do
I’ll be away from what I’ve always known
I’ll be far, far away from home
But it’s time to show the world,
What I can do
But I can never do that, trapped in a cocoon

I really loved this song!! It reminded me of Metamorphosis by Hilary Duff...

Speaking from experience...you have to be really focused, have fun but don't ever forget your priorities!!

As a child...No one could convince me of the world’s evils