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Ok. Here I am again. i found one mistake but i forgot as i read on; your story totally sucked me in! once again, this is brilliant and please PM ...

Hi. As before I can't see any mistakes that haven't already been pointed out. I hope you finish this and when you do please consider trying to get it published. ...

Hi. well you asked me to have a look and here i am. this-is-amazing. i caan't really say anything else. there's nothing i can say as everyone has got here ...

I'v read al of your story so far and it is amazing i cant think of a single fault in it and the only reason im posting is to say ...

Well everyone else seems to have covered the nitpicks so i think i'll just comment on the plot instead. i like the way that whilst setting the scene it doesn't ...

this is really good as i ve said before and i can tell that you really know your character inside out. once again you've portrayed the emotions of your character ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! So, i saw your post and though,'ok, this looks interesting..' so i read it!the plot is very good and it makes me wonder about Ethan, whether ...

Hi! I really enjoyed this but ther isn't much feeling in the characters apart from sadness. it's very well written but i think you just need to work more on ...

Hello! this is really good. ican't find anything wrong with it and i really liked the way you spoke through the man even though it wasn't first person. Did that ...

i really enjoyed this! you portrayed your characters emotions really well and caught my attention straight off with your description. just one thing though and this is just a suggestion. ...

Hi. the title caught my eye so i thought i'd give this a read. this is slightly confusing as i have no background info and i don't know what 'Onia ...

Hi. everyoe else seems to have covered everything so there's not much to say. i really enjoyed your story and will read the next part when you post it. * ...

Hi. I'm going to concentrate more on the plot as I'm not really that great at grammar. it's very fast moving but i think that maybe instead of having the ...

Wow! this is really good and i can't wait for more. You informed us about the character without slowin gthe pace of the story which is one thing i have ...