aeroman

Shall we begin?????? Okay, here we go! The italicized stuff will be commenting on the quotes, and the regular typing is just random thoughts as I'm critiquing. Cool? Cool! :wink: ...

Mmm...You know, I liked it a lot! It drew me in from the beginning because of how vivid the narrator's voice is. You really help us to know him. The ...

Mmm...that was really really good! You know in the beginning when it started with a butterfly I was like...this is gonna be corny lol. But then as I read farther ...

Mmmmm...that was good! I thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing. The pace was a bit quick, but it seemed to flow nicely so it didn't bother me. I'm not going to ...

The prologue definitely didn't draw me in. It was very wordy, too much detail surrounding what I really need to know. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing (because I can ...

Myth! I love how you write! First of all you drew me into the story very well, and made me want to read more. The narrator was portrayed perfectly, I ...

Woooooheeeeee! What a story!!! This, my friend, is one of the best , most origina l, fantasy stories I've read to date! It took me about an hour and a ...

Now it seems to me how you're trying to display the situation is that she wakes up, is confused, ponders a bit, looks around the room, and then realizes her ...

I liked how you wrote it in an Arabian style story. I read Arabian Nights last year and enjoyed it a lot. Reading this was refreshing and different from a ...

Hey Turtle! Well okay here comes my critique! First thing that caught my eye was this... when the sun’s first light stirred Katherine from her peaceful, slightly crowded slumber. When ...

Well...I have to say, I liked it a lot! From the prologue it really intrigued me with Avarn and Karenna. One of the things I really liked about it, was ...

Hmm...well this piece has interested me a lot, because I'm totally unsure where you're taking it. (I haven't read your unedited versions) I would love to read more. I got ...

Okay, well since I'm lazy in my young age I'm not going to give you specific examples for anything, you seem smart so I'll just be giving you my opinion. ...

I agree it was wordy, but I thought it was really quite interesting. It felt more like I was reading a poem of some long forgotten house, with countless memories. ...

To start off with, part of a common courtesy (posted in the top of the forums) is that you should do two crits, of other peoples works, before posting your ...