Zen

Good ideas abound! I like the idea of the grandfather going after his grandchild. Throws the reader in for a loop, and it's interesting too. There're a few grammar things ...

Here's a piece of advice that someone gave me when I started out writing: show, don't tell . Your prologue has a good idea. You can go places with it. ...

"Gah!" What an awful way to be ressurected. Resurrected, I think. Slight typo. :) Lisbeth seems like quite a chirpy girl for someone who died . I think I like ...

"Earth friend"? Or human friend? Earth-born friend? The words "Earth friend" just doesn't sit well with me, for some reason. Overall, a pretty decent place to start. A couple of ...

I didn't finish reading this. The premise was interesting... but a bit of an info-dump, and that bored me. However, I do believe that this info-dumped could have been rephrased ...

The dialogues were REALLY good, and I loved them. They showed us a lot about the characters, who they were, and what they did before coming into their current situations. ...