ZannaShepherd

Hi Slammoth, I'm new at this and still learning so I'm not sure how much help I'll be, but I'll do my best! Your story was lacking any real characters ...

Hi BondGirl, :smt039 I really I liked you story, it had the quality of a fairy tale to it (kind of). I'll try my best to review it, but I'm ...

Hi Zoya, Here are some things you should work on. Elves love to say I’m a very beautiful elf I’m tall and slender with very fair skin, and very long ...

Hi Black_Panther, :smt039 I think the start to your story has potential, but it was a little rough. First of all you kept changing the tenses, and that made it ...

Hi, Nice second part. I liked how you switched between the two main characters, (you get to know them better that way.) Here are a few mistakes I found: Thomas ...

Hi Mr.Knightley, This is a great start to a story! The plot was well thought out and kept the reader (me) interested throughout the whole piece. It also keeps the ...

Hi Kyla/Marie, :smt039 Your story was a good start! The plot was easy to follow, and you left a cliffhanger to keep the reader interested and wanting to know more. ...

Hi ThornedRose, I found your prologue quite interesting. There were a few things that I wasn't sure about tho. Closer, closer, closer. Every minute that comes is a minute closer ...

Hi BondGirl, :smt039 There's not much I can add in ways of grammar or your word placement. (Everyone else has beat me to it. :smt095) I really enjoyed your storyline, ...

Hi, I think your story has potential, I enjoyed the great descriptions you gave to your characters and there surroundings. Somethings aren't explained very well, like how she came to ...

I found your story really interesting (a little dark for my taste) :smt077 but an enjoyable plot none the less. And secondly I my family died because of it. You ...

Hi, Great story. It moved a little fast for me and I don't think it would hurt if you were to use more description. (but I usually put too much ...

Hi, I'm also hopefully entering the contest. (My story might be too long):smt010 I enjoyed reading your story immensely. It's cool that it's actually a personal experience. I only found ...

Hi, Your story was quite interesting but it moved a little fast for me. Also I think you should define his powers a little better (it was hard for me ...

I loved it, it was even better than your first part! I'm glad you described Taran. (great description by the way). It wouldn't hurt if you described the other Characters ...