Dallin, Scout
The men and I tiptoed softly through the forest. We had been sent out by the captain to locate the wolves' den. The wolves had been wrecking our supplies and killing livestock. As we tramped through the forest pushing past dense vegetation, the wolves howled nearby. Just as I passed a clump of old hollow oaks they howled again, this time with the frenzied sound of a predator on the scent of blood. I was following the sound when I suddenly came upon a hollow. I knocked my bow and silently signalled the rest of the men.
I stepped cautiously into the clearing and surveyed my surroundings. Turning slowly I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I whirled to face it with my bow drawn and my breath caught in my throat when I saw what it was. It was a young girl with neck-length raven black hair wearing a tunic and trousers of the same colour. She looked to be eighteen years of age but her shoulders drooped like she carried the weight of the world on them. Looking more closely I saw she was blindfolded and her hands were bound behind her with the lead tied to a tree.
There was blood on her face.
One of the others tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the blood on the ground by the girl and then at an opening across the clearing from her. It was the wolves' den. It dawned on me that she had been left for the wolves.
"We can't leave her here," I told Blake.
"Then we'll take her back to camp with us," Blake replied, "Now go untie her Dallin, we'll stand guard in case the wolves return"
I went up to her and started untying the lead. When she heard my footsteps felt the rope jerk she gasped and started trembling.
Finishing with the knots on the lead I moved over to her and grasped her shoulders whispering softly,
"Calm yourself, you are safe with us. My name is Dallin and I mean you no harm. I need you to hold still so I can untie you."
Gradually her breathing calmed and the trembling stopped. By then I had freed her wrists as well. Suddenly she shifted over to the left revealing a stake looping over her right leg, pinning it to the ground.
"They really wanted you to stay put didn't they?" I murmured while setting to work on the stake. After working on it for a little while, the stake finally slid out of the ground freeing her leg. I put it into my quiver along with the rope and then lifted the girl off the ground. I felt her tense in my arms but then she relaxed and yawned sleepily with her head resting against my chest. After marking the spot so we could return later, we all started back to camp.
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I woke up under something warm and soft. "Am I in heaven?" I dismissed the thought immediately, still feeling stiff and sore from my time in the hollow. I vaguely remembered being untied and carried somewhere but I was too tired to think about it.
The bed was warm and cozy and soon I drifted back to sleep.
When I woke again I heard the crickets chirping and smelled food. My blindfold was still on and I decided to leave it on. I had been told several times before that my unusual eyes often shocked people when we first met, although my eyes were normal enough among my kinsmen. Reaching for the food in the dark I discovered some stew and freshly baked bread. I ate every bite and was still hungry when it was gone. But in my situation it wasn't like I could run down to the kitchen and ask for more so I settled down in the blankets to wait for my rescuers to return.
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"Dallin, did you complete the task I assigned you?"
"Yes Captain, Sir. We located the den as requested and marked the location."
"Did anything unusual happen?"
"Yes Sir."
"Well what happened!" he demanded suddenly worried
"We found a girl, Sir." He seemed fine with this until he realized what I was saying.
"You found what!"
"A girl! She'd been tied up right across from the wolves den. She was also wounded and bleeding heavily."
"Where is she now Dallin?"
"We brought back to camp with us. I left her in one of the tents to recuperate and posted a guard outside."
"Well, I will have to see her if she is to stay in my camp. Come along Dallin."
"Yes Sir."
"And Dallin,"
"Yes Sir?"
"You did well."
"Thank you Sir." It wasn't much but I smiled on my way out anyways.
When we entered the tent she looked up and I noticed that she was still wearing her blindfold. It seemed to be bothering the captain and he ordered her to remove it. When she did I gasped for her face was so unusual and frightening compared to any I had ever seen. She had high cheekbones and a sharp jaw. The cut on her left cheekbone was scarring and her ears tapered to a point. Her almond shaped eyes were the most startling green I had ever seen and sparkled like emeralds. The raven black of her hair offset her lean, tanned face and she had an overall wild exotic sort of look to her. What frightened me the most though was the deadly knowing look of her eyes, as if she could she see straight through you and into your soul. Like when she looked at you all of your secrets where laid bare before her and that she knew you better than anyone else, even yourself. But there was something else there too, something that did not seem to belong there. It was the presence of hurt, pain and betrayal. Her eyes held no spark of life. Only a cold sharp numbness was there, dark and deep with no beginning or end. It was like I was being pulled in, into a world of pain and misery---a world of uncontrollable rage and anger. I was drowning in it and gasping for air. I felt myself dying, with the breath being snatched from my lungs and my soul torn in half.
Suddenly I snapped out of the trance and looked away uncomfortably. If the captain had had a vision similar to mine he didn't show it.
"What's your name girl?" he asked. She just stared at him as if contemplating whether to answer him or not. Finally she looked away and whispered so quietly I could barely hear her,
"Taran, my name is Taran."
"Well Taran, welcome to our camp. I hope you feel safe here. I must warn you though that the location of our camp must remain an absolute secret, so I cannot allow you to leave without my permission. I do hope you understand why." She nodded to show that she did and so he continued on.
"The king's raids on the camps and villages for soldiers and supplies have become more dangerous and destructive in the last few months. And on top of that there are camp pirates to deal with too. I need to keep the location of this camp secret." having explained the girl's new situation to her to his satisfaction, he turned and exited the tent with me following close behind, leaving her alone in the tent.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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This is definitely a great chapter. It is not hard to follow although I do hope that you go more in depth about the main characters background so readers will get a better picture of her.
There was one spot which I thought was kind of contradictory but then again I am being nit picky.
Like I said pale and tanned are contradictory but other then that I thought it was a great piece.
I loved it, it was even better than your first part! I'm glad you described Taran. (great description by the way). It wouldn't hurt if you described the other Characters as well. I really like to be able to visualize the characters I'm reading about.
Eagerly waiting,
~Zanna