Yatta!

Only one grammatical mess up: "Each lie of verse is frozen in picture, Each truth of song an infinite dance." Shouldn't "lie" be "line"? If it is right, then you ...

YATTA!'s Note: Err....i hope this isn't about slaves. I really really hope that's not where you were going. Nevertheless, this isn't honest. The emotions aren't real. It feels like a ...

Young trees and powder. Amateur cigarette butts on the porch Gonzo postcards from Madrid. A summer in Europe, an Englishman Living in Spain. And we WERE just sitting, when the ...

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS FAILED YOU!!!!! Please, don't write with the intention to rhyme, make it be a pleasant accident. If we were speaking italian, rhyming would be a synch, ...

You are telling and not showing. Poetry is not about telling people emotions. It's about showing them. You can't just tell people your sad you have find some way to ...

I don't want to be technical so I'm just going to give you general feedback: Things that struck me about your poem: 1) Really long: I feel like i shouldn't ...

I was thinking there was something off with the story and now, reading it through for the third time I realize what it is. You shift tenses. The first three ...

Well, I think I got the meaning of the poem. Lots of imagery, lots of different images, but they all come about under a unifying theme. I am guess your ...

The first stanza is unneeded and purely there for aesthetic reasons, I think. Garnishes should only be used in sweets and flower decorations, get rid of it. The second stanza ...

"The warmth of the sun on his neck woke Mark up in the morning. " Is an awkward sentence, try "In the morning, Mark woke up to the warmth of ...

Fabulous. I wish people would come to look at your poem and see how lovely TRANSITION is in poetry. It's really hard to capture such flow, especially in a long ...

My asperations and creations all intwined Coloured with my imagination but, gave out false information (Comment: This line bares no impression. It shouldn't be here because it doesn't even support ...

SHUFFLE? Animal's don't shuffle? Animals are animals! Humans shuffle. Animals DO NOT shuffle. Do you know what shuffling is? Shuffle (v) with object: 1. to move (one's feet) along the ...

RE: "I could really use some help with this! Do the images work? Does it make sense to anyone but myself? Is the ending strong enough? Please review! Thanks guys!" ...

Hmm, well it's a nice romance, don't get me wrong, but your interpretation of elves is drastically close to Stephenie Meyer's interpretation of careful to stay true to your craft. ...